human brain is always in search of confidence in knowing. In other words, as much as is possible, I need to know what’s going on so I can be confident that I’m safe. But facts aren’t the only things we need to pay attention to when assessing whether it is safe to trust another person. Feelings are also crucial. Safety is both fact and feeling. Therefore, trust is both fact and feeling. I don’t just need to be told I’m safe; I need to believe it for myself. Otherwise, my neurological makeup will trigger the automatic defense strategies of fight, flight, or freeze. This process is called
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