I Want to Trust You, but I Don't: Moving Forward When You’re Skeptical of Others, Afraid of What God Will Allow, and Doubtful of Your Own Discernment

by Lysa TerKeurst

The thing that makes high-impact broken trust take so long to repair is that you’re not just having to address the hurtful behavior. The character and integrity issues inside the offender are the real driving force for why the behavior occurred in the first place. Trying to talk through the behavior may address the symptoms, but if their driving force isn’t addressed and worked through, it’s going to be difficult to rebuild trust with this person. Their choices are most likely an outward sign indicating inward problems that may require specialized therapy. The betrayal trauma they caused you will likely be the result of undealt-with trauma inside them. Again, my counselor wisely taught me, “What people don’t work out, they act out.” Don’t miss this reality.