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Dating felt like allowing a child to take a sip of your drink. You knew by the time you got your drink back that you would have some shit floating inside the damn drink.
When it came to me, I always hid my problems. I never let anyone know that something was wrong in fear that I would look weak.
Women often thought men didn’t need that small bit of reassurance, and that’s when they fucked up.
It was sad that her own mother didn’t care to remember that her daughter was allergic to seafood.
A woman could do whatever to me, but feet… I loved feet. Sucking, feeling, and holding them. I loved all that came with that shit, and it had always been my weakness. I don’t think I could have dated someone with ugly feet. If we were fucking, I was most definitely going to bring your feet into the mix.
🤮
When you became a parent, you wanted the small human you raised that would eventually become an adult to reflect you. Share your morals, beliefs, and dreams. You wanted to do a good enough job where you knew you were sending a decent human out into the real world.
If Beyonce said she shoved twelve yellow crayons in her ass to shed six pounds, please believe Anne was shoving thirteen and a green crayon for added measure.
I’ve heard of dead-beat parents, never had I heard of dead-beat grandparents. Then again, what did I expect? They weren’t even there for their own daughter, so how the hell did I expect them to be there for mine?
“He gives the childless woman a household, making her the joyful mother of children. Hallelujah!”
“Ask me what?” Wha t did he possibly have to ask me? “I want you to be my baby’s god parent.” I was stunned. Shocked. Flabbergasted. This man, my ex-husband, had the audacity to come to my home and ask me to be the godmother of the baby he was having with his girlfriend. I couldn’t make this shit up even if I tried.
“Siah, I don’t want to be in your life. I don’t want to be the godmother to your child,” I paused. “What? Make me the godmother because I can’t have kids of my own yet?” I chortled.
The girl dinners weren’t going to get me through this pregnancy. This baby needed a full meal and multiple meals too. Not when I remembered or felt like pulling some meat out the freezer.
“I’m going to continue to call you that because I’m speaking shit that’s going to happen into existence. You’re going to be a mama and most importantly, to my fucking kids, Em.”
Put me in a room with a bunch of women blindfolded and I’m always going to find you, Em.”
If gluten kept Alice away, then we needed to feed it to her for the rest of the week.
“Clap, the fuck? My baby got the voice of an angel.” “More like angel dust,” Quan mumbled. Even with him thinking he was low, we all heard him and started laughing. Harlym was talented at many things, but singing wasn’t one of them.
“I don’t want to hear the fucking word Gluten again.” We both broke out laughing because it was true.
“This is why this shit will never worked and hasn’t worked out for us. You want to be a mother based on if I want to make our marriage work. That shit don’t sit right with me.” “That’s not what I meant.” “That’s what the fuck you said.”
“You have some nerve being jealous when you have a whole wife. I don’t get jealous of her.” “Why would the mug ever be jealous of the tea bag?” “Babe, what?” “The mug stays, it always has a place in the house. You discard the tea bag when you’re done with it.”
can’t ignore how crazy you get over the woman you’re involved with. You’re not on no Joe from You type shit, but you’re jealous.”
That trip helped me realize so much.” “Like how much you enjoy riding Laurent’s dick.”
If a man was boring, I couldn’t be bothered.
Ember put on the television that was over her chair and put on the Italian YouTube channel that she was obsessed with this week. “How you know she been into watching how truffles are dug?” Ember, never looking away from inside of Luna’s mouth, replied, “I have eyes and pay attention. Last week she was into watching how saffron was picked.”
While everyone else’s kids were watching cartoons or other shit, she was watching Mukbangs and how ingredients were sourced.
“The strongest women are the biggest babies. God, my late wife was a force to be reckoned with but behind closed doors, she was the biggest baby.”
“Don’t be upset when he calls you the day the football season starts either.” “Yeah, I figured that when he asked my size. Apparently, we’re gonna have matching jerseys.” “I have the same jersey. We need to get Luna one too.” She smiled and reached over to grab my hand. “Sorry, Laurent.”
“The keys to your new beach house.” “Wait, what?” I pulled away. “The beach house that we deemed as our place. I bought it for you.” My thoughts were racing around my head while I tried to figure out what to say. “Um… I…” “That place is always going to special to us. It’s the place we conceived our baby. Now we own it.”
If heaven was real, I hope that it had 4k vision as to what was going on down here. It pained me to know that Angel and Messiah would never hold their baby girl.
