The Hand that Feeds

by K.M. Mixon

“Not usually my type, but fuck, you’re pretty, aren’t you?” I swallow again, and the fear isn’t because of him this time. It’s because of how my body responds to his words.

“I find that women sometimes respond to me with fear. But I also find that, sometimes, their bodies do the funniest things, too. And I do wonder…”

“Wet and needy, even when you look so frightened of me. Funny, that. You don’t know your own body, Nurse Morris?”

“Mmm, there’s a good little whore. See, I’m not so bad, after all.”

His dark laugh rings out and paints the room. “Too bad you’re not my type, or we could have so much fun together tonight.”

He’s a killer, tried and convicted, and I’m a second away from letting him do whatever he wants to me.

“Have you looked your fill, stupid girl? Like what you see?” I snap my eyes back towards his face, shaking my head. “No. Nothing spectacular about it.”

There’s no avoiding it and no fighting it off. I’m going to come for a killer, and I’m going to come hard.

When he finishes, he drags the head of it through the mess and grins. “Stupid little whore. Look at you, letting a madman paint you.”

“Seems I’m at a disadvantage, Nurse Morris. You know my name, and I don’t know yours.”

“Mmm, I don’t think I will.” I sigh. “I don’t know why you have to give me so many problems. Every other nurse says you take your medicines fine for them.” “Mmm, been asking around about me, have you?”

“If you put them in your mouth and crawl them over to me, I’ll take them,”

It’s degrading, but the way he’s looking at me makes my insides coil like a fucking cat who’s about to get the attention it’s been craving all day.

He looks deep into my eyes as he holds my chin in his hand before he leans forward, brushes his tongue across mine, and takes the pills into his mouth.

I’m going to have to fill my mouth with water and spit it into his mouth rather than nudge it with my face across the floor.

“Mmm, there’s a good girl. See, you’re not so stupid after all.” For some fucking reason, his praise makes my stomach tighten. I ignore it. I sit on my knees when I’m back in front of him.

“Obey me, stupid girl. It’s not fucking smart to do otherwise. If you want to check that I’ve taken my meds like a good boy, you can check with your tongue.”

I’ve never been kissed like this before. Like I’m the only person in the world. As if I’m his oxygen.

It’s a puzzle that I feel the most alive, with a killer touching me.

“Nurse Morris, how lovely. Twice in twenty-four hours. Who do I have to thank for this treat?”

His heady, gray eyes flick towards me, watching me in awe as his lips part. I want nothing more than to hear the breath he lets out.

“Yes, it was a mistake. Coming in here was a mistake. Fucking you was a mistake.” “What about coming for me, hm? Was that a mistake?”

“Nothing!” he seethes. “I meant nothing?!” I nod, even though I can’t breathe. I watch the insanity in his eyes grow.

“You meant nothing.” I spit on him and watch as he lets it trail down his face. His tongue darts out, and he licks it up when it gets close to his mouth. I almost gag as I watch him. “You’re going to regret that,” he says.

“What do you think you know, hm, you stupid girl?” he taunts, stepping into the rubble and towering over me. “About what?” I feign stupidity. His lip lifts in a snarl. “You look prettier when you’re behaving.”

I’ll break you down, mold you into a shell of the woman you used to be, and then leave the pieces for the next motherfucker to clean up.”

“Why are you sorry?” he asks. “I pushed you. I said things I shouldn’t have,” I admit, trying to hide how his proximity makes me feel. “Don’t apologize for doing something that feels right. Did it feel good to push back at me? To tell me how you felt?”

When he connects his lips to mine, I don’t hesitate to slip into his madness, letting his tongue into my mouth as sense flies out of my brain. For a moment, I feel like he’s doing just as promised. He’s breaking me.

“Well, this has been…” I sigh. “I have to clock out,” I tell him, and I don’t know why I do. “Yes, and then you’ll come back to my room,” he tells me as I pass him to get to the door.

“You’ll come back to my room, Lyla.”

He leans in, breathing in my scent, and a shiver rakes down my back. “You’ll sleep here.”

“Lyla, good. Let’s get you to bed, shall we?”

every worry and thought about how fucked up this is flies right out of my head.

He shoves my hair to one side, letting his lips meet my neck as he licks and nips up and down my throat. To have a killer right over a vein he could tap and use to take my life is exhilarating, and I hate that I feel like that. It makes my stomach turn.

“You’re so fucking beautiful that it’s stupid.”

He closes his eyes. “People aren’t kind to me. I’ve spent a very long time being Neo, the murderer, and not the real Neo.”

When he lifts me and moves us onto the bed, I let him. He’s not a gentleman, but this seems like the easiest he’s probably ever handled someone or something before.

“You’re the weakest I’ve ever felt in my fucking life,” he admits before he spears inside me, and I cry out.

“Don’t you ever fucking cry,” he grunts, dropping over me, arms resting next to my head as he gives me everything with each stroke into my body. “No. Fucking. Crying,” he breathes in between punctuating drives.

He’d been so close to spilling inside me, and it wasn’t very comforting. And yet, something in me is sad he didn’t.

He leans over me, cock still fucking my ass shallowly as his hand finds my clit. “Whatever pleasure you get, I’ll give. You understand me?”

“Come inside me,” I breathe. “I want you to come in me.”

I’m beneath him does something to me. I’m the reason for the pleasure on his face, and it means something. Even if it’s the stupidest thing I’ll ever admit, it does. “No going back now, stupid girl. Now you’re mine,” he says, leaning down and biting my shoulder.

Because the way my heart lurched in my chest when he said I’m his is fucking sick. And I should be disgusted. But I’m not.

“I know you have another side of you that I don’t know, Neo. You’ve killed so many people. Women. What makes me so different?” He scoffs with disgust. “You’re not them. You never could be.” “How do you know?” I ask. “I just know. Trust me.

“You see how you pushed further into me right then, Lyla? That’s what tells me you belong to me. That you’re my brand of fucked up.” “Because I like a little bite of pain?” I ask, still breathing heavily from the stinging on my back. “No. Because you like everything I do to you. No matter what it is.”

could never hurt you, stupid girl. Can’t you see that? Can’t you fucking feel it?” When the heel of his palm grinds over my clit, I arch off the bed. “I feel it!” I cry as orgasm floods my system. “Then don’t ever question me again, understand me?” “Yes! Yes! Neo!” “Now you’re speaking my language, stupid girl. More!”

“I’ll burn this city to its foundations if you touch what belongs to me,” he says, laughing maniacally and then slamming the door.

“You might want to mind your manners. It’s rude to eavesdrop, stupid girl. I might be inclined to take those pretty ears from you.”

looking up at him as one tear leaves his eye, tracking down his cheek and tipping over his jaw and onto the tattoo I love so much.