The Lies of Locke Lamora (Gentleman Bastard, #1)

by Scott Lynch

If he had a bloody gash across his throat and a physiker was trying to sew it up, Lamora would steal the needle and thread and die laughing.

“If you put Durant’s brains in a thimble full of water,” said Jean, “they’d look like a ship lost in the middle of the sea.”

If reassurances could dull pain, nobody would ever go to the trouble of pressing grapes.”