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May 13 - May 15, 2024
She was a flame, the pure fire of mortality that kept humans striving, yearning, living in all of its messy, perilous splendor, seeking beauty even as they faced death.
I thought I was the insane one in this relationship, but this girl was absolutely giving me a run for my fucking money.
I’d asked for her secrets, and she’d carved into my flesh to pull out mine instead.
And yet, my darkness called to hers, and even more disastrous, so too did the humanity that I secretly mourned every year or two in early autumn.
“There are many people in this world who would love nothing more than to clip your wings. Stop doing it for them. Soar instead.”
“There is no competition in trauma. None of it is ever better or worse than any other. Trauma is not what happens to you. It’s what happens inside of you as a result of what happens to you.”
“I think the best things in this world defy logic. They just are. Nameless, formless. All feeling, devoid of the bondage of logic and limited mortal understanding.”
Don’t accept the half-love that you’ve grown accustomed to. Only accept the full, staggering devotion that you deserve. It’s what we all deserve. To feel wholeheartedly chosen, desired, secure, and nurtured. Anything less is theft.”
He was teaching me just how much I could endure. He was showing me how adept I was at making suffering beautiful again, and he was right; that skill made me powerful.
“There is no deserve when it comes to love. There are no conditions or stipulations. You just love.”

