Merry in Moose Falls (Moose Falls, #1)

by Emily Silver

I find I’m becoming addicted to Charlie. It’s easy. My best friend is probably one of the most genuine people I know. He will go out of his way to help not just me, but anyone. Charlie’s big heart is one of the reasons it was easy to say yes to him. To this thing with him. If it was anyone else, I don’t know if I could explore this side of myself. I wouldn’t have the courage to do so. To feel safe to do so.

I want every day to be like this. With Charlie. Just the two of us and Comet. There’s no pressure at all to do or be anything other than who I am. Maybe that’s why my marriage ended. I always felt like I had to be someone other than myself. Not with Charlie. Charlie accepts me for who I am. He always has.

A soft look washes over Charlie’s face. One that I see more often than not when he’s looking at me. The feelings it stirs up inside me have me questioning a lot of things right now. Things I shouldn’t be questioning when we’re supposed to be taking this slow. The way Charlie is looking at me makes me want to throw slow right out the window.

It’s still hard to believe that we’re together. The last ten days or so have gone by in the blink of an eye. I don’t know what the future might hold for the two of us, but it’s easy to imagine this being our life. Curled up on the couch watching movies. Coming home from work and having dinner together. Spending our nights wrapped up in each other in bed. I snuggle even closer to Brooks. I want it. It’s hard to rein in my feelings for this man now that I finally get to show him what I’m truly feeling.

Brooks’s lips seek mine out in a greedy way and I let him devour me, his taste still on my tongue. I never thought I would love kissing him as much as I do. It’s intense. Fiery. Raw in a way I’ve never experienced.

This feeling is so incredible, I don’t want it to end. Being this close and connected to Brooks is something I never thought I’d ever get to experience.

“You want to move to Florida?” Mike shrugs a shoulder. “We’ve thought about it. We didn’t want to leave when you were going through everything. But now?” “Now we’re not as worried about you.” Brooks’s mom smiles at the two of us. “It’s so nice to see you doing so well after the divorce, sweetheart.” “Thanks, Mom,” Brooks tells her. “All Charlie.” Brooks leans over and gives me a sweet kiss. Hearing his words has a warmth spreading through me. I would do this again in a heartbeat to see Brooks this happy.

“But Charlie.” Jane turns her attention to me. “You want to get married, right?” “I mean, I always planned on it.” The only problem was that I never found someone I wanted to get married to. Now I have Brooks. Who is adamant about not getting married again.

Do Brooks and I have an end date? Whenever I pictured the two of us together, that was it. When Brooks fell in love with me, we’d be together forever. We rushed into this, and I never really stopped to think about what would happen if it didn’t work out. I never thought that our feelings toward marriage would get in the way. Could I handle never getting married? I’ve always wanted it, ever since I was a little boy. To show the world that I love this man so much, that we’re tied together forever.

“Look, Charlie. I don’t want to lie to you. Getting married isn’t in the cards for me. My marriage ended in disaster. Hell, I’m staying at your house because I still don’t have a place to live.” “I know.” “Do you?” Brooks grasps my chin and turns my gaze to meet his. There’s a sadness in his eyes. “Yeah.” Maybe. Maybe I’ve been lying to myself this whole time. Maybe Hunter was right. Not that I’ll ever admit that to him, but God, this feeling sucks right now.

“I’m going to go to bed.” I step out of Brooks’s hold. “I need to do inventory tomorrow at the bar, so it’s going to be a long day.” “Okay.” It looks like Brooks wants to say more, but he doesn’t. What could he say to make me feel better? He never lied to me. Turns out I was just lying to myself. So much for a merry Christmas.

Everything between the two of us is all muddled up. Not being up for this? Charlie is up for everything all the time. I’ve royally fucked this up. We’re together, but not. I know Charlie is putting on a happy face for me, and I hate it. I hate that I can tell he’s miserable. Whenever I ask, he tells me he’s fine. I hate that word. Fine. He’s so not fine.

Even the thought of losing him now is too much to bear. It’s Charlie. The one person in my life I can always count on. Who’s always been there for me.

“I love him.” “We know.” Ollie has a duh look on his face. “No, I mean I’m in love with him.” Hunter is smiling at my confession. “Took ya long enough to get there.”

“You know what I know about Charlie?” Hunter asks. “What?” “It’s not so much the marriage, but the tying two lives together.” “Isn’t that marriage?” Ollie asks. Hunter smiles at him before continuing. “It doesn’t have to be. Charlie wants someone to commit to him. To show the world that you two belong to one another. Charlie wants that more than anything.” “How do you know that?” And why do I not know this about my best friend. “Read between the lines, Brooks.”