Beautiful Monster

by Sara Cate

You have no place being in my thoughts, and yet, you own every single one.

If this feeling was a color, I would want to paint it all over my skin, and let it seep into my pores, making it a permanent part of me.

I’m floating on a life raft, lost at sea, but Sunny is my lighthouse, and as long as I have my eyes on her and she’s shining those beautiful eyes at me, I’m not doing too bad.

It dawns on me when she laughs, the warmth in her voice sounding so familiar that my attraction to Sunny isn’t just about her body, her age, her innocence but how she makes every goddamn cell in my body come to life. She defines me, accepts me, sees me, and I swear to Christ, it fucking feels like love. And it scares the ever-loving piss out of me.

“Sunny, you’re so beautiful,” he murmurs against my core. “I want to worship you, my little rain cloud.” I let out a moan in reply. The words ‘I love you,’ hang on my lips because at this moment, I do.

“At night I want to know that there’s someone in my bed that will be there the next night and the night after that. I’m tired of being lonely, Sunny.”

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean they have a free pass to treat you like shit.”

“You’re the most precious thing in the world to me, my sweet girl. I haven’t cared about anything in so long, and I care about you. If I lose that…” “You won’t lose me. You will never lose me, Alex.”

“I love your scars, Alex. I know that under your skin is a whole lot of shame that you think you need to protect me from, but I won’t leave you for it. I won’t let you try and scare me away.” Taking her face in my hands, maybe a little too hard between my fingers, I pull her lips just a breath away from mine. “I love you, Sunny.” She blinks, a tear spilling over her lashes. “I love you, too,” she croaks.

We don’t get to love people because they are perfect or because they’ve made every right decision. Love is not a reward for good behavior. Love is unconditional because the strongest love endures the hottest fire.