Swiped

by L.M. Chilton

it was always these little rituals that you missed most when someone you loved left.

“Too many immigrants these days.” I study his face carefully for any micro-expressions that might indicate this is just a misguided joke. I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing, which turns out to be a mistake, as he takes that as a signal to carry on. “It used to be quite a nice area until about five years ago,” he says. “But they began to settle a lot of refugees in the housing estate around the corner, and it all went downhill after that.” “That sounds a little, um, racist, Josh,” I say. “No, it’s not like that,” he says, putting his club down. “I’m not saying they’re bad people. We’ve got one at work right now. Weird little geezer. I just think it’s a mistake to let too many foreigners into the country, especially if they can’t contribute.” “What do you mean ‘can’t contribute’?” I say. “They get jobs and they pay their tax.” “Yes, they do get jobs—they get our jobs.” “I didn’t picture you as a Russian Twitter bot,” I say, trying to force a laugh. “Don’t be facetious,” he says, looking a bit pissed off. “I’m just saying we need to protect our borders.” “Protect our borders?” I snort. “They’re not invading. These people need our help.”

it’s more that the pictures left only the vaguest sense of what his real face looked like. A slightly out-of-focus shot of him at a rugby match, a group shot at a wedding taken from a distance, and one of him with sunglasses and a baseball cap on some sort of boat. I mean, sunglasses and a hat on a dating profile pic? That’s just ridiculous. But from the little I could make out, I thought there was at least a 60 percent chance of him being really handsome, and that was a bet I was willing to take.

I go over to the door of the pod, but we’re still only three-quarters of the way round. Stepping out now would be a fifty-foot drop. It’s either die or read this guy’s screenplay. Tough choice.

Seb: I need to be honest because the last thing I want to do is lead you on. You’re too fragile to be messed around. Regrettably, I didn’t feel a connection on our date. I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to offer some advice for the future: if you continue to keep your guard up, you’ll likely discover that it’s very difficult to find the happiness you’re looking for. But I’d be happy to email over my screenplay if you’d still like to read it. Stay safe. Five minutes later, another message arrives. Seb: Send nudes?

“Yeah, well, it’s the nice guys you have to watch out for. In my experience, there’s no such thing.”