A Touch of Gold and Madness (Celestials of Arcadia #1)

by K.L. DeVore

Why am I such a failure? I’ll never be enough. Or am I too much? I don’t deserve happiness. I’m weak. Stupid. Why am I so awkward? How could I be so brainless to never ask questions? To never see what was right in front of me? No wonder my father hated me so much. On and on the insecurities went. They came one after another, plowing through my soul and cracking me open. Each thought brought a stream of salty tears down my cheeks. The level of self-hatred I held for myself was crushing. My heart broke for itself, knowing I’d always felt this way without ever realizing it. The spiraling thoughts came to a screeching halt with the revelation I wasn’t responsible for them. From a young age, others around me projected their negativity onto me. Others who never held the right to mold my self-beliefs. As I stood by and watched from an objective perspective how the self-beliefs were formed, I realized I wasn’t any of the terrible things I’d been led to believe.

“We can’t escape it. Running from ourselves never ends well. It’s only when we come to embrace our whole selves that we find any sort of peace. I may be a monster, but I’m a monster against other monsters. I’ll gladly be a monster for those I care about. My family. For you.”