Evergreen (Evergreen, #1)

by Autumn Woods

I dismiss Ascan, tossing the letter onto the dining table in my quarters and hurling a knife at a beam in the wall. I'm losing the will to live here. I'm bored, and I don't mean in the short-term sense.

camp, I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I never manage to feel any guilt. I suppose for what that man had done to his wife and children, I would've killed him for free, but sometimes I imagine what life would be like if I didn't have to do this to earn money.

I've never signed one with the River Folk, because approximately ninety percent of them annoy me,

I've also been told by King Espan that I should avoid the Forest King because, and I quote, 'he's easily antagonised and you, Renna, are an antagoniser'.

Espan rules the Kingdom of Fields, Deserts and Plains, but that’s an absolute mouthful to say so we just shorten it to the Golden Kingdom.

"It is not your fault she died. How many times do we need to have this conversation?" "She was out that day because of me." "She was out because she wanted to work." "Because I was so unpleasant for her to be around." I was a terrible husband,

"Cheer up, will you? I've had my share of grumpy men for one day." She's laughing. At herself? At me? I'm not sure. It is such an unexpected reaction, I'm not sure what to say back,

"A mortal," I observe. Disappointing.

fiery. "I have a right to be here." "You work for the King?" She asks, dark eyes narrowing at me. "I do indeed."

"Thank the gods it was you and not him. I heard he's an arsehole." Charming. "I heard so too." Her cheeks pale. "Oh, no."

She's annoyed I've found her weakness, but she shouldn't have given me so much ammunition.

If sorceresses weren't long extinct, I'd think she was one. She's wound some kind of spell through the air, the atmosphere between us thick with tension.

"I love you, even if I don't always like you,"

He is the only one other than Onyx and Stell who knows snippets of my past. He knows things about me that he could ruin me with, but he never has, and for that I owe him everything.

I want to know him. This here isn't him. He hasn't said a word outside of business, hasn't even hinted at a smile. He doesn't seem like a real person. I want to see him lose his composure. I want to see a crack in his facade. I want him to crumble under my flirting like everyone else does. But he is not like the others.

but he spent months of his childhood learning how to do this for me.

"Rennalya," cajoles Onyx, gently turning me to face him. "You know this is for the best. But, if you change your mind and you want to live differently, I'll spend my life protecting you. I'll support you in all of your decisions. You're my little sister, Ren. I'll do what it takes."

"What did Talyn say?" I ask, drying my hair with a towel as Ascan stands, ever-present in the doorway. "He's not returned. He passed on a message that she was sicker than Onyx let on." "He's still there?" I turn to face him. "Send him here," I order, ignoring the worry in my chest.

"She is very sick. Onyx described her as 'under the weather', but she looks like she'll hardly last the night." My pulse skips a beat. "What?" "She looks very unwell, my lord. I have no idea what's causing it. It's similar to poisoning symptoms, but she hasn't eaten. She's not hot either, so it's not a fever." Even away from me, she’s giving me grief.

I haven’t slept in seven days. So why, fucking why, am I awake and staring at the wall when I should be sleeping? And more bafflingly, why am I thinking about the Shadow Commander? Is she better? Is she dead? And just like that, with my legs being propelled by some external force, I find myself walking through the halls of my palace towards the guests’ quarters, letting myself into her guest room.

His brown arms and the side of his head are covered in tattoos, and I find myself pissed off at the way his hands touch her.

He’s not beautiful like spring flowers, or like the sunshine on a quiet stream. Rexxan is catastrophically beautiful, like the first bolt of lightning that shatters the midnight sky.

I didn’t sleep with Ellia tonight. I don’t understand why I didn’t sleep with Ellia tonight, but I didn’t. It had been my intention to. To chase a kind of lust that isn’t directed at a certain dark-haired assassin. That

"You'll rot in my dungeon, Renna," I hiss, storming into the cell where she sits beside her brother. “Oh, but I’d escape. And then you’d have to chase me again, and we’d be tired of it all by then,”

“Commander, if you wanted to watch me fuck someone, you could’ve at least asked me nicely.” “Can I watch you fuck someone?” She asks with a sweet smile, but the lust in her eyes tells me she’s half-serious. Fucking hell, she’s going to be the death of me. She is it; the ultimate test of my willpower.

She growls in response to the nickname and I make a mental note to keep using them—anything to get under her skin like she does mine. She’s tugging against the restraints, and holy fuck do I like her tied up. No, Rexxan. Not now, and not with her.

Gods, she genuinely does not shut up. "And you care because?" "I want to get to know you. The real you, not the King." As I thread a chain through the bars of her cage, I pause for a moment. It has been a long time since anyone has said that to me. In fact, I don’t think anyone has. I let out a cold laugh because the real me is buried so deep beneath the King that I’m not sure he’s even there anymore.

"I'm not talking to you. I'm not interested in getting to know you." That's a lie. I want to know everything about her.

I allow myself a long, lazy look down her body. She’s athletic, with a small waist that gives way to the gentle curve of her hips and strong, toned thighs. Her top is low cut, revealing miles of tanned skin. She smells the same as the day I met her, like roses and honey. "Want to try again and be a little more subtle?” She asks, once my gaze lands back on her eyes. "Not particularly, no." What in the name of all that is holy am I doing? For someone with famous self-control, I’m not doing a good job of it now. But I need to touch her. I tuck some hair behind her ear, her gaze locked on mine. She is quiet for once, brown eyes looking up at me. "Don't look at me like that," she whispers, but she leans in closer to me, her tongue darting out to her lower lip for a split second. "I'm not looking at you like anything," I reply, my hand snaking up her waist. I have a terrible feeling that now I know what it is to have my hands on her, once will never be enough. I run a gentle hand over her throat, watching goosebumps rise on her beautiful skin. The air is so thick with desire that I could pierce it with a knife. Long black eyelashes flutter shut, her head tipping back. Something about that action has me aching with want for her. I want to show her what I could do to her, to help her find her limits for pleasure and pain. To give her an outlet for this pent-up energy that is overflowing from her every vein. I want to bask in the Shadow Commander and all the sacred air around her. ...

I know I'm immature and I know I’ve been exceptionally stupid, but I'm good at my job. It's why I'm here. I'm just not built for this." She waves a small hand around us. "For indoor spaces and doors and meetings. It's new to me."

"Oh my word! You're jealous!" "I'm not.” She raises an eyebrow like she thinks I’m spewing bullshit at her. Maybe I am.

"I don't need you to parent me." "Clearly you do," I snap, regretting the words as soon as they leave my mouth. The regret intensifies when her shoulders slump instead of fighting back. "This is why I don't open up to people," she mumbles, staring at her small feet. Fuck, do I know how that feels, and I hate that I’m the one responsible for giving her the feeling that I loathe so much. In a hundred years, I don't think I’ve properly talked to anyone about anything remotely personal.

Part of me doesn’t want to leave her in here, but she’s committed two imprisonable offences and she’s under investigation for attempting to break into the Vault, so I cannot have her roaming free. I cannot risk the safety of my people just because I want to sleep with her. But holy shit, do I want to sleep with her.

An underestimated woman is a lethal weapon.

I can’t breathe. I need Onyx and Stellan. Minutes feel like hours until time becomes an unfamiliar concept. Four o'clock turns into nine o'clock, and I see no Onyx and no healers. I'm going to die in this cell. I'm going to die the same way my mother did.

But something he said has been echoing in my mind over and over. She's had a difficult past, my lord. She doesn't cope with being locked up at all. It's harder for her than for others. Who is this woman? And what has she been through? She's so young to have seen so much, and that pisses me off for some reason. Her brother’s words have infiltrated something I'd forgotten I'd had; my conscience.

I pull the second chain off and toss it into her cell. It hits the ground beside her head, but she doesn’t so much as move. Concern creeps down my spine. I remove the third thick chain, unlocking the door to her cell and pushing it open despite the hinges arguing in protest. "Renna." I stand in the doorway. She doesn’t move, and in a sickening moment, I realise that I can hardly see her breathing in the dark. I flash my hand over the lamp on the wall, whispering an incantation that floods the cell in a dim warm light. My heart skids to a halt. She's fucking dead. She can’t be dead. An unexpected shard of icy dread prickles my spine. I clear the space between us in a fraction of a second, turning her over. Blood runs out of her mouth, nose, and ears, pooling on the floor beneath her. I put two fingers on her neck, finding a pulse, and I swear to the gods I’ve never felt relief like it.

"Fuck, Renna," I whisper, my chest tight. My pulse is thundering, and it feels alien because it’s been years since anything or anyone has been able to elicit that reaction from me.

“I don’t know why you call me here, Rex. You can heal as well as I can,”

"So you like languages and apple pie," she summarises, weakly.

I cannot have Renna. I cannot be with her. But I know in that moment that I'd have my healers find both the cause and the cure to her sickness, whatever it takes. I cannot send her away knowing that she’ll continue to live in this pain.

By Friday, she is strong enough to stand when I return from a five-mile swim. Diffused sunlight streams in from the archway out to my terrace, painting her in golden light. She’s in my bed still, but not in the way I would like her to be. I watch her bare feet touch down on the sandstone floor, holding my arm as she wobbles. I raise a suggestive eyebrow at her as her fingers tighten on my bicep. “Finding any excuse to touch me?”

"He is protective of you." "For as long as Onyx lives, I'll always feel safe."

I’m struggling to come to terms with the fact that I like having the little tyrant in my space. I enjoy coming home from work to her in my room.

I watch as she launches herself impressively high into the air, backflips twice, and plummets, fully clothed, into the pool. Lynna appears at my side, laughing as we watch Renna vanish below the waterline. "I came to check how she was feeling, but I'm not sure I'm needed." My finger runs over my lower lip. She just doesn’t seem human. I’m entranced by her. Enthralled by her. Bewitched by her. I hate her, yet I want her to stay. It’s staining my black and white world grey. “I don't understand her at all." "Do you want to?" I do, and that's a problem. "I must get rid of her." Lynna's eyes meet mine. "You’re beginning to like her?” "I cannot like her." "The heart wants what it wants." "My heart was frozen long ago."

In the single greatest display of willpower in human history, I leave a soaking-wet Renna alone in my bath. I hope the gods are watching because I’m on my best behaviour.

"Why did you free Stellan?" Comes a soft voice, as I move into my second hour of weight training alone in the courtyard. I can’t see her, but hiding in the shadows is what she is good at. "So you'll leave quicker," I retort, giving her the honest truth. "Oh. You want me gone?" "I've wanted you gone since I shot you in the woods." "Oh." She sighs, her chest falling a little as she steps into the courtyard.

Instantly the atmosphere changes, charged with some kind of electricity that Evergreen magic alone cannot explain. I want her more than I’ve wanted something in a long time. But one look at her reminds me that she is not all she seems. Every inch of her is plastered in weapons, poisons, and unfamiliar gadgets, a hood covering her face.

She lets out a heavy breath, nodding. "Thank you, Rexxan." I like it when she says my name. I'd rather she was screaming it, but I'll take any scraps of this curious creature that I can get.

She’s fascinating, an enigma I’m desperate to solve, and though I should leave now and go back to my rooms, I don’t.