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“I’ll get the shotgun,” one of my uncles said with a chuckle. “We’ll have roast cheater for Christmas dinner.”
🤭
“This is not his coming-out party. This is my wedding,” my sister screamed. Her eyes, surrounded by thick eye makeup, bugged out in fury. “Best get back in the closet, Kirk,” one uncle muttered. His wife hit him with her clutch.
Lmfaoooo sorry Kirk, try coming out at a later date 👋 😭
“Too bad Astelle isn’t here,” Granny Murray said. “She’d have a heart attack and die, and wouldn’t that be a great Christmas present.”
You should try sunning your vagina.” “I sun my vagina,” Granny Murray said, “but not in the winter. You’ll freeze your taint off.”
Was in disbelief that I read this 😭
“Life is not in the kitchen,” Granny Murray said magnanimously. “Get in your club gear, girls. We’re going to hit the town. It’s Grandma’s secret medicine.”
“This is the happening spot. Mildred told me that she found two guys for a threesome here. Nothing like cheap alcohol and daddies in leather.” Granny Murray licked her lips.
“You boys looking for some action?” Granny Murray yelled to them. “I’ve been in a bar fight and flashed my tits, but it really seems like you have to put on a whole dog and pony show around here to get laid.” She headed in their direction as Dakota raced after her.
Grandma Murray is THE favorite 😂
“It seems especially disrespectful to drink James’s $800 bottle of wine out of Target Santa cups,” she said cheerfully.
🥂
“Can no one close a door?” My mother pinched the bridge of her nose. “You took my door,” I shrieked. “So I can’t shut it. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”
My favorite catch phrase in the prefect scene 😭
“Gracie is having a gas-station baby. My granddaughter. The horror of it all.” “I like gas stations,” Granny Murray argued.
“I’m not,” Gran yelled at her. “I’m a wealthy divorcée with alimony, and we’re going to get some hot tail in the hot tub.”
😭
“She is my granddaughter,” Grandma Astelle said primly. “No, she’s my granddaughter.” Granny Murray put up her hands like a boxer.
😭 the fight scenes! 😭
“How dare you?” Grandma Astelle went after Granny Murray, though it was a more of a slow-moving chase.
The visuals😭😭😭
