Good Elf Gone Wrong (Wynter Brothers, #1)

by Alina Jacobs

That bitch needs to be cunt punted into next Christmas.”

Was it too early for a drink? Didn’t 1950s housewives start drinking at like nine in the morning?

Hudson was a flaming shot of whisky in a dive bar. I was more of a hot-cocoa-and-marshmallows-on-a-West-Elm-couch type of girl.

Girl you better grow a backbone before this book is over! You gettin' on my nerves being a super size doormat ;)

Granny Murray stated. “God doesn’t give with both hands. A man’s not going to have a giant dick, a hot body, and a big bank account. You have to pick one.

Granny Murray is THE shit :p

There is money at the end of this rainbow of shit, I reminded myself.

This is what I need, I told myself, rolling my neck, trying to loosen my shoulders. Just some good ol’ fashioned violence.

“I’m going to make a white Christmas in your ass.”

Hudson is such a romantic :p

“Fuck you, Hudson Wynter. I hope Santa drop-kicks you off a roof!”

“I fucking hate Christmas.”

New Year’s resolution—I am not making myself small so that rude pompous men can feel better about themselves. Put up or get out.”