Good Elf Gone Wrong (Wynter Brothers, #1)

by Alina Jacobs

“I’ll get the shotgun,” one of my uncles said with a chuckle. “We’ll have roast cheater for Christmas dinner.”

“Not so difficult,” he said, his voice rumbling through my chest. “You can manhandle me too.” “I don’t want to touch your man handle,” I blurted out.

“Mom, are you drinking?” “Gracie made mimosas.” “No, I didn’t.” “Fine.” Granny Murray shrugged. “I made my own mimosa.”

“Gracie was a tiger,” Granny Murray was saying when I walked into the kitchen. “Anyone who doubted the sex in the pickup truck story, eat your words, haters!”

“My bad. Didn’t mean to cockblock you, Hudson,” Granny Murray called. “I’m going to kick this ho’s ass, then we’re going to make Christmas cookies.”

“Sugarplum, all I can think about is putting my mouth on your sweet, juicy cunt, but I’m glad to see you’re an ally.”

“You took my door,” I shrieked. “So I can’t shut it. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”

“Mazel tov, Astelle,” Granny Murray said and raised her glass of vodka. “Broken clock is right twice a day after all.”

“Fuck you and your entire shitty family. Not you, you’re actually cool, Granny Murray,”

“Believe what you will, but he’s so obsessed with you, I think he just might kill me if I was anything less than coldly professional.”