Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder

by Salman Rushdie

What makes hospitals happiest is when the patient says he is having bowel movements. Hospitals really don’t like it when your bowels are not moving and they give you medication that causes diarrhea and you ask them to please stop and you promise in pleading tones that your bowels will move soon, they really will, and then, finally, they do move, and everyone cheers up.

Let me offer this piece of advice to you, gentle reader: if you can avoid having your eyelid sewn shut…avoid it. It really, really hurts.

Happily, without any regrets, I deleted the Twitter app from my phone.

I have no issue with religion when it occupies this private space and doesn’t seek to impose its values on others.