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“Are you saying that my tits resemble those of a bull?” “If the moo fits, Gerard!” “Take it back.” “No!”
“Oh, you are such an asshole,” she screamed, throwing her hands up. “Now I’m glad I said it. And you know what else, Gerard Gibson? Your jokes aren’t even funny half the time. That’s right. You have shit craic.” “How dare you!” I staggered back, feeling like she had physically struck me. “My craic is ninety.” “Your craic is mediocre,” Claire called over her shoulder, storming through the tree line. “Now go away!”
shook my head, at a complete fucking loss with this girl. “Can you stop walking away from me for two goddamn minutes and just talk to me calmly so we can figure this out!” “No, because it’s always words with you!” she screamed, pushing her rain-drenched hair back from her face. “It’s always words and smiles and conversations and I’m over it, Gerard!” She threw her hands up in the air—dramatic as always—as the heavens continued to pelt down on us. “Oh my god. What’s the point in even arguing with you?” She shook her head and screamed, “You’re never going to get it!” “Get it?” “Us, Gerard!” she
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“Because I’m afraid!” “Of what?” she demanded, pushing at my chest. “Huh?” She pushed me again. “What are you afraid of?” “You, Claire,” I roared back at her, chest heaving. “I’m afraid of you!”
“Me?” “Yes!” “You’re afraid of me?” “Yes!” “Why?” “Because I fucking love you, Claire!” “I love you, too.” “I know,” he agreed. “That’s what makes it even worse!”
He marked me in childhood, and that mark had only scored deeper on my heart as the years went by. I knew him, though. He lingered on my heart. I couldn’t seem to get past him.
“I do love you, Claire. I do want to be with you. I’ve always wanted to be with you. I just—” He stopped short and blew out a frustrated breath, hands moving to his hips. “If you just let me explain…”
“It’s not about me finding excuses to not be with you, Claire,” he roared. “It’s about me knowing that you’re the perfect person for me.”
“Oh my god,” I cried out, beyond confused. “I never know where I stand with you.” “In front,” came his quick response. “On top. Number one. Fucking always, Claire.”
“Stop it, Gerard!” I snapped. “Stop playing with my heart. I can’t take it. Don’t say it if you don’t mean it, because breaking my heart by accident is one thing but doing it on purpose is another thing entirely, and I don’t think I could come back from it.” “Who’s playing?” he demanded. “I fucking love you, Claire Biggs.” “How can you say that?” “Because it’s the truth!” Gerard roared, turning a dark shade of purple as his outrage clearly grew. “I didn’t choose any of this, okay? I was born and there you were, and I had these feelings. And they grew, Claire,” he roared, stalked toward me.
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“Oh god…” “What?” He demanded. “What’s happening to you?” “I’m having a moment.” “You are?” Panic, anger, and confusion all filled his tone. “Holy shit, from what?” “From you, Gerard,” I groaned, fisting his drenched school shirt in my hand. “From you, because you just hit me with the feels train, okay?” “The feels train?” “Yes, the feels train, you big dick!” “Well, choo-choo,” he snapped back, tone laced with sarcasm as he pretended to yank on a horn. “Hop a-fucking-board, sweetheart. It’s about time you decided to join me. Considering I’ve been on the same damn feels train for years—” “Shut
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One moment we were glaring, and screaming, and shoving at each other and the next we were kissing.
WHAT?!
“Don’t think I can survive without you, though.”
“In fact, don’t say anything at all right now,” I added, tilting my chin up to meet his. “Shutting up, Claire-Bear,” he promised moments before his lips returned to mine.
“You know I love you.”
“There’s only ever been you for me.”
“See, that’s the thing, Claire,” he urged in a pained tone. “I don’t want to be your mistake or your regret.” He pulled up on his elbows, gray eyes burning with sincerity and heat. “I can’t fucking bear the thought of it.”
“You couldn’t lose me if you tried, Gerard Gibson.”
“Never,” I vowed. “You’re my best friend.” “I know.” I rolled my eyes. “You’re supposed to say it back.” He smirked. “But what about Cap?” Snatching up his hand, I placed it on my chest and said, “Does Cap let you touch his boobs?” “Okay.” Nodding vigorously, he pressed a kiss to my neck. “You’re my number one best friend.” I closed my eyes and smiled. “That’s better.”
“You missed the clown.” “No, she didn’t,” Tadhg chimed in from his perch on the island. “She brought him with her.” “She brought him with her,” Gerard mimicked with a glare. “Less of the lip.”
“Don’t fucking start, kid,” the Joker—I mean Joey—warned when he marched into the kitchen, looking like the sexiest baddie I’d ever seen.
“You think I’m going trick-or-treating with you looking like that?” Tadhg gaped at him in horror. “Fuck no, I would rather shit in my hands and clap.”
“You heard Shan. Mind your language, kid,” Joey barked in a far more authoritarian tone than their sister had used, and like a good little pup, Tadhg bowed down to the alpha of their family pack. Oh wow. Maybe, Shannon wasn’t the lucky one. Maybe Aoife was.
“You can come to the party,” I blurted out and then laughed nervously when I was greeted with horrified looks from Johnny and Joey. Meanwhile, Gerard face-planted his hand. Oops. “I mean, it’s totally cool if you want to swing by for a boogie.” A boogie? What was I, forty? Jesus.
Thankfully, Ollie decided to save me by trotting into the kitchen with his sexy saint of a foster father in tow. “Wow, Ols,” I grinned. “Fancy.” “I’m a barrister,” he explained, dressed in a designer suit, with sunglasses perched on his nose. He even had his hair slicked back like one of those corporate lawyers in the movies. “Like my dad.”
“Back off,” Johnny warned, quickly cutting her off. “I get that you’re one of Shannon’s best friends, and I’m trying to respect that relationship, really I am, but don’t walk over a line here, because he’s my best friend and I won’t hesitate to take his side.” Lizzie continued to glare at us for a long beat before turning around and stalking back into the house. “You’d really take my side?” I asked, ignoring the sound of the door slamming. “I’m already on your side, Gibs.” Well, shit. “You know, you’re like the brother I never had.” “Don’t get messy on me, Gibs.” He chuckled. “You haven’t had
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“I’m so fucking glad your grandmother died when she did.” “Wow, thanks, Gibs.” “Because you’re here,” I tried to explain. “Fuck knows where I’d be if you hadn’t moved to Ballylaggin.”
“While I would love to dance with your daughter, it wouldn’t be a wise move.” “Oh?” She smirked. “And why not?” “Because I might be tempted to do more than just dance with her,” I replied in a solemn tone. “I might be lured into performing the physical act of love.” “You do realize it’s me you’re talking to, don’t you, Gibs?” Frowning, Claire’s mam reached up and felt my brow. “As in Claire’s mother.” “Oh yes.” I nodded solemnly. “I’d know your tits anywhere. Thank you, by the way. For making Claire. You did a top-notch job on that one.” Frowning I added, “The older one could do with a bit of
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I wanted to tell Claire. But I couldn’t seem to find a way to open the can of worms I’d spent so many years sealing.
“You look like you’re contemplating taking a bubble bath with vodka and a razor.” “Maybe I am.” “Aw, Gibs,” she coaxed, nudging my arm with her elbow. “Surely things aren’t that bad?”
“So, that’s it?” Her tone switched from flirtatious to accusatory in an instant. “You’re just saying no?” “Yes, Dee, that’s exactly what I’m saying.” Reaching for my pint, I slid it toward her. “But here’s a pint for your troubles.”
“Claire.” “Hmm?” “Look at me.” When she did, I felt blindsided by the feelings that her brown eyes evoked from me. “Hi.” “Hi.” Reaching up, I trailed my thumb over her bottom lip before swapping it for my mouth.
“I want you,” she breathed against my lips as she let her legs fall open for me to settle between them. “All of you.” “What do you mean?” “I want your body inside my body.” Oh Christ.
Happy, wondrous, epic, first love feels that had consumed me to the point where I honestly felt like I was floating on air.
“If we can’t be civil, we stay silent. So, stay the fuck silent.”
“Wow,” I mused. “How does it feel to be so secure in yourself?” “Why don’t you look in the mirror and ask the girl staring back at you,” he shot back with a smirk. “Because from where I’m sitting, she’s got a tight fist hold of her worth.” “Hmm.” I smiled back at him, thoroughly enjoying this conversation and listening to his input on the world. “You’re good with words,” I offered. “When you use them.” “I use them,” he replied. “Not everyone listens.” “Ooh, deep… Okay, pee break!” Pushing my chair back, I sprang up and moved for the door. “I’ll be right back.” “Take your time.” He laughed
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Smiling to myself, I skipped down the corridor in the direction of the girls’ bathroom, stopping to call out, “Get a room,” to the ridiculously attractive couple eating the faces off each other in the stairwell on my way. “Mind your business,” Aoife called back, not bothering to release her hold on Joey. “As you were, Stud.” Aw…I hope they had condoms in the annex.
“I really love her, Dad, and I want to tell her, but I’m so fucking scared of her walking away from me.” I hung my head in shame. “I feel like I’m wrong on the inside.” A shudder racked through me. “Like I’m infected.”
“I believe something happened,” he replied carefully. “And I believe he’s responsible for that something.”
“If Caoimhe was here, I would tell her that what happened to her doesn’t define her.” Darren looked me dead in the eyes when he said, “It defines him. He’s the monster in the story. The shame is on his doorstep.” He reached up and stroked his jaw before saying, “And I would tell her that it’s never too late to disclose.” His eyes burned with sincerity. “Never.”
“Because he’s evil, Gibs,” he said gently. “Some people are just plain evil.”
“Can I give you my phone number?” I stared blankly at him. “Lad, I’m flattered, but I like pussy.” Darren smirked. “Just take my number,” he said, retrieving a business card from his coat pocket. “Call that number when you’re ready.”
“Yeah, I have, and I’m done with it!” “Claire.” “Just go, Gerard!”
stop
“Hey, maybe my brother needs to sit next to your brother, Shan,” I sniffled, blowing my nose again. “He needs neutering like Brian.” “That’s the spirit,” Lizzie praised. “Stiffen that upper lip, Baby Biggs.”
3:00 a.m.
is this a Taylor Swift reference?
Time was supposed to be a healer, but several hours had passed and I still felt every blade of betrayal in my back, without a hint of letting up.
“I’m seeing you, okay? Not that I ever didn’t. But I’m hearing you, baby.” Exhaling a shaky breath, he dropped his head to rest against mine. “From here on out, I will follow you anywhere.”
“I want to be your boyfriend and I want you to be my girlfriend.” “You do?” I squeezed out, trembling. He nodded. “Absolutely.” “I’m scared now,” I admitted, heart racing wildly in my chest as I looked up at him. “I don’t want to get hurt.” I don’t want you to hurt me.
“We can put the brakes on until you’re ready.” “We can?” “Yeah, Claire-Bear, we can.” This time, when he reached for my hand, it felt distinctively different than all the other times. It felt more important. It felt like I was being seen and my feelings were being validated. It felt like forever. “You waited for me,” he said, squeezing my hand. “Now it’s my turn to wait for you.”
“I asked your sister to be my girlfriend,” I announced, deciding to get it out of the way right away. “I think it’s fairly obvious by now that I’m in love with her, Hugh.” Clearing my throat, I scratched my jaw before adding, “I’m serious about this, okay? I’m serious about her.”
