Really Very Crunchy: A Beginner's Guide to Removing Toxins from Your Life without Adding Them to Your Personality

by Emily Morrow

(Is it awkward that I keep comparing my life to Jim Carrey comedies?)

Adopt the mentality that you are doing what’s best for your nest and they are too. Wouldn’t the world be a brighter and more beautiful place if we could all have a generous interpretation of others?

PS: If your three-year-old knows there are roaches in your kitchen, so will everyone you meet.

You only get one body—treat it well by feeding it well.

I found myself dwelling on my kids’ food choices at parties, and I don’t want them to pick up on that because I think anxiety is far more damaging than a little bit of soybean oil and food dye

If boring-and-slightly-outdoorsy-but-not-pompous-about-it is a look, that’s me.

Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and Napoleon Bonaparte also slept very little, but alas, we are mere plebs destined to rely on rest to function properly.

I recently met a shepherdess, and she told me she has three years’ worth of raw wool that I am welcome to. I have been scheming up a way to make my own wool mattress out of it without making my husband think I’m insane.

Crunchiness is about you trying to make healthier choices for your life, not someone else’s.

my two children and I were invited to a party at a skating rink where cake was provided by the skating rink. Skating rink cake—those words haunted me.

“Sugar and Screens” sounds like it could be a toddler rock song about taking a dangerous path early in life, “Highway to Hell” style.

get it—it’s easier. Kids can be coaxed into sitting down and being quiet and not making any messes when they are pacified with screens or sugar. But I wonder whether as a culture we discover the ease of pacification and then rely on it too much.

“Where are that baby’s socks! Get that baby some shoes!” Ma’am, it’s ninety-seven degrees outside—no one needs socks right now.

Some people are fine with being a family by proximity and genetics, but I want more. I want true connection with my kids. Honking at geese is not the only way to make that happen, but the only way your family can have your own “special thing” is if you make it happen.

So, according to the Mountain Lion Foundation (don’t you love how there’s a foundation for everything?),

For those with the lowest levels of green space exposure during childhood, the risk of developing mental illness was 55% higher than for those who grew up with abundant green space.”

Have you ever decided to leave your phone in the car when you go somewhere? I encourage you to give it a try. Look around and see how many people are looking down at their screens wherever they go. We have become so reliant on constant input and entertainment from a little box with lights in it that we are missing everything that really matters.

According to Ginny Yurich, creator of the challenge, “The entire point of 1000 Hours Outside is to attempt to match nature time with screen time. If kids can consume media through screens 1200 hours a year on average then the time is there and at least some of it can and should be shifted towards a more productive and healthy outcome.”

I imagine this is the reality for many children and adults: people spending their lives consuming content instead of making memories, letting their lives pass them by.

Each person around you was a baby once; can’t we look at them (and ourselves) with the same wonder and admiration? I mean, don’t go around saying “Hey, baby!” to everyone you meet, but notice how amazing the human body is and how each body was created differently and has grown differently.

embroider over holes in sweaters and repair ripped furniture with a patch of fun fabric. I’ve used colored thread to secure the leg on a chair that broke. In fixing things, you bring celebration and attention to imperfections, little quirks that make life beautiful.

I especially see wastefulness around holidays and celebrations. Do we need to buy so much single-use junk to give as “cheap” gifts? They might be cheap for you, but what are the environmental implications? Set down the cellophane bags, put back the plastic tablecloths, stop buying so many balloons, and make do with what you have. Think about how your great-grandmother would’ve made holidays special.

Find yourself a friend you can send rash pictures to—a reciprocal rash rendering relationship, if you will. But of course, keep in mind that Aunt Claudia can’t point to a liver on a picture of the human body, so prioritize advice from practicing medical professionals.

I encourage you to try not to be passive in your child’s health care. It’s your job to figure out what works for your kid and do your best to keep them healthy and safe.

Talking to a well-traveled person often feels like talking to a vegan or a CrossFit addict; they can’t help but bring it up!

You’ve heard the phrase “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” and that is so true. It is important to make sure you’re nourishing your spirit, body, and mind, especially as a parent. However, there is a danger of slipping from filling up your cup so you can pour it out to others to making sure your cup is always full and never allowing anything to empty your cup because you’re worth having a full cup.

Create beauty around you and you won’t feel the need to escape or as if you are losing yourself in the humdrum of everyday life. In this way of living, self-care becomes a by-product of living well.

It’s natural and perfectly healthy to take some time to yourself when you can get it, but if that has become your obsession and goal, maybe you should evaluate what the deeper problem is. Am I eating nourishing foods? Am I getting outside? Am I sleeping enough? Am I connecting with others?

And this is where I may be a little different from some of the crunchiest of crunchy moms: I believe that a lot of anxiety is much worse for you than the things you are anxious about.