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Love changes over time. It becomes deeper, calmer. No longer do couples talk all day or dance till dawn. The mad passion, the ecstasy, the longing, the obsessive thinking, the heightened energy: all dissolve. But if you are fortunate, this magic transforms itself into new feelings of security, comfort, calm, and union with your partner. Psychologist Elaine Hatfield calls this feeling “companionate love,” a feeling of happy togetherness with someone whose life has become deeply entwined with yours.45 I call this complex feeling “attachment.”
