“We didn’t go to the party because you didn’t want to.” “I wanted to go. You didn’t want to.” It would turn out that he had taken something I’d said as a hint about what I wanted, and I mistook his agreement with what he thought I wanted for being what he really wanted. He kept acting on hints I hadn’t thrown out, and I kept missing hints he had. With both of us loaded with good will, we kept doing what neither wanted. And instead of thanks, we both got recriminations. We were driving each other crazy.
