Becky Kaplan Farone

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But what he intended was not what she understood—which was what she would have meant if she had said what he said in the way he said it. These paradoxical metamessages are recursive and potentially confusing in all conversations. In a series of conversations between the same people, each encounter bears the burdens as well as the fruits of earlier ones.
That's Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships
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