Many of these signals and devices can be changed if we’re aware of them, either across the board or with certain others. And minor changes can have major results. For example, when conversations just don’t seem to be going well, we can try making little adjustments in our volume, pacing, or pitch—speeding up or slowing down, leaving longer pauses or shorter ones—in an attempt to get closer to a shared rhythm. And realizing that ritual complaining and apologizing do not have the same meaning for everyone, we can be alert to others’ reactions. When using these devices doesn’t spark the reaction
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