One of the most destructive aspects of intimate criticism is that its effects can be lasting. Josie went through years - life happily, if ignorantly, oblivious of innumerable minor faults or faultless habits—a nervous click she sometimes inserts in pauses; automatically yelling “Ow!” when only slightly hurt; a soft fuzz on her upper lip; a tendency to gulp down her drink when others are sipping. But after living with Andy, who continually informed her that he found these and other habits offensive, she was doomed to see them in this nasty light forever. After she divorced Andy, she kept his
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