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Pindar nodded as they walked along the path. “Actually, successful people do this all the time. Typically, the more successful they are, the more willing they are to share their secrets with others.”
“And since he’d interviewed so many famous, successful and powerful people, I thought I’d check my own observations against his. ‘Larry,’ I asked, ‘are your guests as genuinely nice as they seem? Even the real superstars?’ He fixed me with a gaze and said, ‘Tell you what. The interesting thing is, the bigger they are, the nicer they are.’
Joe waited for more, but apparently, that was it. “I beg your pardon?” Pindar smiled. “Giving?” repeated Joe. Pindar nodded. “That’s the secret to your success? Your Trade Secret? Giving?” “Indeed,” said Pindar. “Ah,” said Joe. “Well, that’s …that’s …”
“You see,” Pindar continued, “the majority of people operate with a mindset that says to the fireplace, ‘First give me some heat, then I’ll throw on some logs.’
“You see? You can’t go in two directions at once. Trying to be successful with making money as your goal is like trying to travel a superhighway at seventy miles an hour with your eyes glued to the rearview mirror.” He took another thoughtful
“No,” said Pindar, “that one is true. In life, you often don’t get what you want. But,” he leaned forward again and his voice grew softer with emphasis, “here’s what you do get—You get what you expect.”
“Or put it another way: What you focus on is what you get. You’ve heard the expression ‘Go looking for trouble and that’s what you’ll find’?”
Go looking for conflict, and you’ll find it. Go looking for people to take advantage of you, and they generally will. See the world as a dog-eat-dog place, and you’ll always find a bigger dog looking at you as if you’re his next meal. Go looking for the best in people, and you’ll be amazed at how much talent, ingenuity, empathy and goodwill you’ll find. “Ultimately, the world treats you more or less the way you expect to be treated.”
“And that’s the Golden Rule of business,” added Pindar. “All things being equal—” Ernesto finished the phrase: “—people will do business with and refer business to those people they know, like and trust.”
“Your true worth is determined by how much more you give in value than you take in payment.”
can always find more people to serve. The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., once said, ‘Everybody can be great because anybody can serve.’
‘Everybody can be successful because anybody can give.’
“Your life works the same way,” she said. “You just make it up. Being broke and being rich are both decisions. You make them up, right up here.” She tapped her finger to her temple.
Joe thought back to his Saturday morning conversation with Pindar. What you focus on is what you get.
mean a network of people who know you, like you and trust you. They might never buy a thing from you, but they’ve always got you in the backs of their minds.”
“Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.”
“They love
to give. That’s why they’re attractive. Givers attract.”
“And that’s why the Law of Influence works. Because it magnetizes you.”
Your influence is determined by how abundantly you place other people’s interests first.
this: I care more about my wife’s happiness than I do about my own. All
“Three. My husband gave me the most surprising gift of all. He gave me the wake-up call of a lifetime—when he walked out the door and never came back.”
“They taught me every kind of sales methodology and closing technique ever invented. I learned the Direct Close, the Deal/Concession Close, the Time-Driven Close and the Trial Offer Close. They taught me the Compliment Close and the Embarrassment Close, the Best-Time-to-Buy Close and the Never-the-Best-Time-to-Buy Close, the Courtship Close and
the Shame Close. I learned every close from A to Z.”
“Well, let’s see …” she began, then started counting them on her fingers. “There was the Assumptive Close, the Bonus Close, the Concession Close, the Distraction Close, the Emotion Close, the Future Close …”—the people in the first row began to clap in rhythm, one clap to each new letter of the alphabet—“… the Golden Gate Bridge Close, the Humor Close, the IQ Close, the Jersey City Close …”—and
with a loud clap!—“… the Kill Clause Close, the Leveraged Asset Close, the Money’s-Not-Everything Close, the Now-or-Never Close, the Ownership Close, the Puppy Dog Close, the Quality Close, the Reversal Close, the Standing-Room-Only Close, the Takeaway Close, the Underpriced-Value Close, the Vanity Close, the Window-of-Opportunity Close …”—and she took a big breath—“… the Xaviera Hollander Close, the Ya-Ya Sisterhood Close and the Zsa Zsa Gabor Close!
‘whatever it is,’ he said, ‘you can excel by adding value. If you need money,’ he said, ‘add value. And if you need a lot of money, add a lot of value.’
‘Then find a way to add a lot of value fast!’
“On the way over, we just chattered, talked about everything and anything, silly stuff. I couldn’t tell you for sure whether I ever even told her the asking price! It was the most unprofessional, sloppy, irresponsible, disgraceful sales presentation in the history of real estate.” She held up both hands in an attitude of exasperation, as if to say, What a ditz, huh? “And, of course, she bought the house.”
How to care. How to make people feel good about themselves. And that, my friends, is something the marketplace wants very much—always has, always will.
“People, remember this: no matter what your training, no matter what your skills, no matter what area you’re in, you are your most important commodity. The most valuable gift you have to offer is you.
“Reaching any goal you set takes ten percent specific knowledge or technical skills—ten percent, max. The other ninety-plus percent is people skills.
“You want people skills?” she repeated. “Then be a person.” She looked around from face to face. “Can you do that? Will you do that?”
“It’s called authenticity.”
Pindar smiled. “You were hungry to learn about success. Genuine success.”
THE LAW OF AUTHENTICITY The most valuable gift you have to offer is yourself.
“So the secret to success,” Joe went on, “to gaining it, to having it, is to give, give, give. The secret to getting is giving. And the secret to giving is making yourself open to receiving. What do you call this law?”
THE LAW OF RECEPTIVITY The key to effective giving is to stay open to receiving.
