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but Peter only attends on the three days of male obligation: Christmas Eve, Easter, and Mother’s Day.
• Ward: “I can worship God better out in nature than I can sitting in a church building.” • Dean: “I just don’t feel like I need to go to a church to be a good person.” • Peter: “I go to church on occasion, but I’ve found it rather boring and irrelevant to my life. I don’t mind if Mitzi goes, but it’s just not for me.”
I believe most are simply ambivalent toward it.
What’s more troubling, the men who do go to church seem to become more passive and detached by the day.
and church just doesn’t provide the return on investment they’re looking for.
was fully engaged was the pastor,
Most stand mute during the lengthy “praise and worship” sets. Few volunteer. Most are unaware that the church offers a men’s ministry program.
“We tried other churches, but this was the only one that didn’t suck.”
“doesn’t suck.” A church with good music, decent preaching, comfortable chairs, and a service that’s not too long.
They see women as better qualified to make decisions when it comes to relationships, child care, education, and faith. These men would no sooner choose a church than choose drapes. It’s just not a man’s role.
our axiom: your system is perfectly designed to give you the results you’re getting.
Competence Love
Power Communication Efficiency Beauty Achievement Relationships Skills Support Proving oneself Helping Results Nurturing Accomplishment Feelings Objects Sharing Goal orientation Relating Self-sufficiency Community Success Loving cooperation Competition Personal expression
most people think of Christ as having the values that come naturally to a woman.
People who are highly verbal, musical, sensitive, and relational will fit right in.
Highly involved churchmen often possess the Venus values.
‘I counted every adult—and we had five times as many women in church as men. Five times! It’s been this way for years—and I’d never noticed.’”
“Modern churches are women’s clubs with a few male officers.”2
the only man who actually practices his faith is the pastor.
According to polls, 90 percent of American men claim belief in God.
Some experts believe the true number is fewer than one in six.6
Millions are captive to sin, unbelief, and other religions that preclude commitment to Christ.
Of the planet’s great religions, only Christianity has a consistent, worldwide shortage of male practitioners.
the exodus of men from the church is accelerating.
75 to 90 percent of the adults who attend African-American congregations are women.16 Contrast this to black Muslims, who are overwhelmingly
Christianity for women, Islam for men.
Howard Hendricks says there are two kinds of people in the church: the pillars and the caterpillars. The pillars uphold the church with their prayers, their work, and their donations. They build the kingdom of God by the sweat of their brows. The caterpillars crawl in on Sunday morning, sing a few songs, listen to a sermon, and crawl out again, not to be seen for a week.
Men regard churchgoing like a prostate exam: it’s something that can save their lives, but it’s so unpleasant and invasive, they put it off.
“Women may be the backbone of a congregation, but the presence of a significant number of men is often a clear indicator of spiritual
Men tend to exalt rules over relationships, whereas women tend to exalt relationships over rules.
Men tend to be more orthodox in belief. Their concern for the rules keeps a congregation from drifting toward mushy moral relativism.
MEN IMPART STRENGTH
MEN BRING MONEY
MEN ATTRACT WOMEN
Since 1950 the number of Christians in the world has doubled, but the number of Muslims has more than
“In Islam I found a stronger ideal of brotherhood and moral discipline—and of manhood,”
YOUNG, SINGLE MEN ARE MISSING
the church is one of the few institutions in society where there’s no pressure to act like a man.
Churches Value Stability and Security
must be careful, sentimental, and thrifty; make every decision by consensus; talk everything to death. Decisions take months or years to make, and if someone’s feelings might be hurt, we don’t move forward.
Conflict Is Handled the Feminine Way
how does the church handle it 99 percent of the time? The feminine way, allowing it to simmer just below the surface. The battling parties are polite in public but vicious in private.
The Right Choice Is Always the Soft One
Lack of Productivity
to produce exactly 0 new adult followers of Jesus Christ.
Why are churches so unproductive? They try to be all things to all people. They can’t say no. They do too much and end up doing a lot of things poorly. They keep adding ministry programs but never prune the ineffective ones. But
