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We all know people who seek to play to their advantage antagonism between others; some third parties might even view a blossoming partnership with trepidation or envy, triggering new negative emotions and rivalries.
Another, softer approach might have involved Clendenin’s giving Gunning “the right of first refusal” to collaborate with him, making the offer seem special while judiciously indicating that there were others who could step in. Just to be clear, Clendenin was not asking Gunning for a specific favor in exchange for the one he’d granted in Step 2. He was simply saying that he wanted him to become an ally.
Clendenin also reinforced the connection between the three steps by making his offer time-limited, which raised the perception of the value of the deal without changing its content.
He told Gunning he needed an a...
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Rationality is like offering medicine after a spoonful of sugar: It ensures that you’re getting the benefit of the shifted negative emotions, and any growing positive ones, which would otherwise diffuse over time.
But both accepted that they should give each other the benefit of the doubt. Over the following weeks, this new mind-set allowed them to work as allies, a process that deepened trust and resource-sharing in a self-reinforcing cycle.
Several years later, when Clendenin moved to another Xerox unit, he nominated Gunning as his replacement—and Gunning excelled in the position. The foundation for that remarkable shift had been established during the span of a single lunch.
Later in Clendenin’s tenure at Xerox, he noticed an inefficiency in the company’s inventory systems. At the time, Xerox was made up of semiautonomous international units that stockpiled excess inventory to avoid shortages. Clendenin proposed that the units instead share their inventories through an intrafirm network that would improve resource use and lower carrying costs for the company as a whole. Although the idea was objectively good for Xerox, it threatened the power of some unit vice presidents, so when Clendenin floated his idea, they shot it down.
Strive for collaboration indirectly—for example, by working well with a third party whom your rival trusts. A common ally can highlight to him the benefits of working with you.
His first move was to redirect their negative emotions away from him by planning a lunch for them at the regional office and serving them himself. This showed deference. He also presented himself not as an individual pushing a proposal but as someone who could expedite organizational change, shifting the reference point of his rivals’ tension.
Applying the reciprocity principle of give before you ask, he requested nothing from them at the meeting. Instead, he facilitated a discussion about the CEO-led initiative. Inventory management was, unsurprisingly, a problem cited by many of the VPs, and Clendenin’s facilitation brought that to light. He then took on the luster of the person who had illuminated a generic problem, rather than someone who wanted to lessen the VPs’ autonomy.
The VPs agreed to execute the plan in stages and put Clendenin in charge. The initiative grew in small but steady steps, eventually saving Xerox millions. Equally important, Clendenin’s embrace by his rivals positioned him as a broker in the company and burnished his reputation as an institution builder.
John Clendenin understood that rivalries help no one; indeed, success often depends on not just neutralizing your foes but turning them into collaborators.
By using the 3Rs to build trust in his network, Clendenin made sure everyone in his network thrived—including himself, Gunning, their team, the VPs, and Xerox—forming th...
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THE IDEA IN BRIEF When you’re operating outside clear reporting lines, your colleagues may not immediately see why they should collaborate with you. That’s when your powers of persuasion come into play. It’s not manipulation. Effective persuasion is a learning and negotiating process for leading your colleagues to a shared solution to a problem.
Establish credibility. Your credibility grows out of two sources: expertise and relationships.
If you’ve demonstrated that you can work in the best interest of others, your peers will have confidence in your relationships.
Frame goals on common ground. Tangibly describe the benefits of your position. The fastest way to get a child to the grocery store is to point out the lollipops by the cash register.
Connect emotionally. Adjust
A Chrysler team leader raised the morale of employees disheartened by foreign competition when he persuaded senior management to bring a new car design in-house. He showed both groups slides of his hometown, devastated by foreign mining competition. Dramatic images of his boarded-up high school and the town’s crumbling ironworks shone a sobering light on the aftereffects of outsourcing. His patriotic and emotional appeal resonated with his audiences.
They attempt to make their case with an up-front, hard sell. I call this the John Wayne approach. Managers strongly state their position at the outset, and then through a process of persistence, logic, and exuberance, they try to push the idea to a close.
In reality, setting out a strong position at the start of a persuasion effort gives potential opponents something to grab onto—and fight against. It’s
They resist compromise. Too many managers see compromise as surrender, but it is essential to constructive persuasion.
They assume persuasion is a one-shot effort. Persuasion is a process, not an event. Rarely, if ever, is it possible to arrive at a shared solution on the first try. More often than not, persuasion involves listening to people, testing a position, developing a new position that reflects input from the group, more testing, incorporating compromises, and then trying again. If this sounds like a slow and difficult process, that’s because it is.
Do you have it—the power to capture your audience, sway undecideds, convert opponents? In matrixed organizations, persuasion trumps formal power. It’s essential to getting things done through others.
Persuasion works by appealing predictably to deeply rooted human needs.
Make ’em like you. It’s hard to say no to someone you like. So how can you increase your likability? Play up similarities. We tend to like people who share our background, interests, style of dress, etc. We also like people who like us. We’re suckers for compliments. If
Make ’em laugh. Ever wonder why so many speakers open their presentations with a joke? Humor is disarming. It makes people root for us. It’s hard to feel bad when you’re laughing—and hard to dislike a person who makes you laugh. Humor makes you appear calm, approachable, and in control. It helps your audience feel more relaxed and receptive to change, new ideas, and your influence. Use
Do a favor—even a small one. Doing something for someone gives you enormous power and influence over them.
Robert Cialdini discusses the unwritten rule of reciprocity and how it obligates us to repay what another person has given us.
The subjects who received a Coke from Joe bought twice as many tickets as the subjects who received nothing. The reciprocity rule overwhelmed all other factors—including whether they even liked Joe. The ticket buyers felt an irresistible need to repay him.
Feed ’em. Pick up an extra coffee for the programmer who’s been developing a data feed for your new website. Bring fresh fruit or candy bars to your project launch meeting. Pick
