The Chimp Paradox: The Acclaimed Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness

by Steve Peters

Learning to accept that you have made a mistake, and rewarding this, is far more constructive than criticising yourself for failing to reach total success.

This first moon is about recognising who is in charge in the different areas of your life and then acting accordingly.

Humans discuss ideas and typically come to a joint opinion. Chimps give opinion, criticise others and rarely give way.

We can consider any situation as having a Monarch. This Monarch will wear the crown and have the final say, inside a defined ‘Realm’. To make it simple, we will look at three different

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As a Monarch, you need to make sure that you have set the rules, and that people entering your Realm know and understand the rules and that you enforce these if necessary.

The ‘regal rules’ are the behaviours and attitudes that you have decided to abide by as a Monarch.

Spending time on thinking about this with your Human, and making it happen, will really help to increase the chances of being successful in whatever you do.

It’s worth looking at the qualifications, experience or track record that people have before taking advice from them or allowing them to help you.

Successful people take full responsibility for whatever they do and look to improve next time.

The first is that you are the Monarch and the second is there are some rules.

It is no use blaming others if they are taking over your world or are acting in a way that you do not accept because you were not assertive enough to make these things clear.

If it is a Realm that you don’t want to be in, then the answer is to move on as soon as possible and into a Realm with a Monarch that you do respect.

The first relationship is a professional one and the second is a personal one. These types of relationship often overlap or become confused.

The reason that we often get our professional relationships moving across boundaries into personal relationships is because our Chimps, and at times our Humans, forget the boundaries and start looking to the other person to fulfil our more personal needs.

It is wise therefore to establish what your emotional needs are and to seek out an appropriate person outside your professional circle to fulfil them.

Likewise, do not displace personal negative emotions, such as frustration or anger, into a...

For success in your relationships, try asking the question ‘what am I wanting from this relationship and what is the other person wanting?’ Make sure that what you want is appropriate for the typ...

Nobody nails your feet to the ground when it comes to relationships; they are pure choice.

Imposing rules onto someone in their Realm is a form of passive aggression.

The Chimp needs to let you know what it feels and the Human needs to let you know how practical it is.

Motivation is Chimp-driven. It is a feeling based on emotion.

Commitment, on the other hand, comes from the Human and does not depend on feelings.

Commitment means following a plan even if you don’t feel like it that day.

For example, a surgeon can’t say halfway through an operation, ‘Do you know I just don’t feel motivated to finish this, so I’ll stop now!’ Motivation doesn’t matter; it...

When you decide to do something, remind yourself that it is commitment not motivation that matters.

The Commitment Screen explained

The first aspect is working out what you will need to do the job. The second aspect is preparing solutions to overcome anything that might stop you from succeeding.

Second aspect:What are the challenges you might face? We can break these challenges down into three types: • Hurdles • Barriers • Pitfalls

Your job is to work out what these are and then have a coping strategy to deal with them.

Poor coping strategies may include ignoring, running away or fighting them, and these will definitely jeopardise your chances of success.

Barriers – these are things you can get around with good planning. This doesn’t mean ignoring the difficulty, it means dealing with it by removing it.

Hurdles can’t be removed, barriers can.

Wanting to go on holiday with limited money just means choosing an affordable place to go, not stopping the holiday.

Is it really a dream? • How important is this to you and your Chimp? • Do you and your Chimp really want to achieve it? • What are the benefits of achieving your dream? • Are the benefits worth having, compared to the cost of getting there?

Prioritise what you need to do and don’t allow yourself to get distracted.

Indecision is the best energy sapper, so once you have all the information, make the decision and follow it through.

The biggest factor for success is for you to function at your best, practically and emotionally.

Be disciplined and not just organised. Anyone can organise, by making a plan. Very few people can carry out the plan because they do not have the self-discipline.

If you were given a million pounds to do the task before the end of the day could you do it?

If the answer is yes, I would definitely have it completed, then this means that it is possible to do it. It means that if you don’t do it by the end of the day, then any reason you offer as to why you didn’t do it is just an excuse for not being disciplined.

When this happens, sometimes, paradoxical psychology works.

Having ownership of something always excites the Human and the Chimp because it offers all kinds of rewards.

Carrying out the plan is about having responsibility and being disciplined.

Responsibility is all about managing the Chimp and its feelings, and getting down to business without excuses.

If you have responsibility for your plan then you must be held accountable for it.

Taking responsibility and accountability for implementing or carrying out the plan is all about being disciplined.

The fourth area of the CORE principle, to increase your chances of success, is to set very high but achievable goals.

If you define a level of excellence and cannot reach it you may feel very deflated and see yourself as a failure.

There is an alternative in life. You can aim for personal excellence, which is doing your best, regardless of the standard that you achieve.