The Chimp Paradox: The Acclaimed Mind Management Programme to Help You Achieve Success, Confidence and Happiness

by Steve Peters

If you prepare yourself the night before and go straight into this programme with a rapid countdown, you will be on your feet before the Chimp has the chance to discuss things with you. For this to work you must prevent the Chimp from thinking. So the distraction is by counting and moving at the same time.

The distraction banana can also be a way of occupying an agitated or impatient Chimp when you have to pass time waiting for something. Simple distractions such as reading a book or listening to music are often the most powerful.

Giving rewards to your own Chimp can be surprisingly powerful. For example, suppose you have to write ten emails but can’t get started and want to have your coffee. If you say to your Chimp: ‘When you have written five emails you can have your coffee,

Chimps like to survive; Humans like to have a purpose.

When we have a sense of purpose in life it brings with it a sense of meaning and this in turn leads to achievement, satisfaction and well-being. We will look at success and happiness in great detail later in the book but here the message is that in order to look after your machine well, you must consider the needs of both the Chimp and the Human. All too often we stop at the Chimp because it takes up our time and shouts the loudest.

It is Normal to have Chimp outbursts and activity that you will not manage well. Therefore, you should Expect this to happen from time to time. Accept that you are not perfect and this animal is very powerful. Take care of the outburst or activity by appropriate means, such as apologies if you have affected others, or by forgiving yourself if you feel you have let yourself down.

Nobody gets it right all of the time and many of us get it wrong quite a lot of the time.

If you have negative emotions, turn these round and use them to move forward. Think of ways to appropriately deal with negative emotions rather then engaging with them.

Your Computer has two functions: • It can think and act automatically for you using programmed thoughts and behaviours. • It is a reference source for information, beliefs and values.

Potentially the Computer is more powerful than the Chimp and the Human because it is the reference source that both of them look to for help and guidance. Therefore, it is advisable to get to know how it works and how to maintain it, so the guidance it gives leads to success and happiness.

Female brains have many more areas than male brains, called association centres, for working with language. In contrast, the male brain has an area for dealing with mathematics and map-reading that is around four times the size than in the female brain (whether it works better is another matter!). It does mean that it is likely, since the two brains typically do show physical and physiological differences, that they will work differently and be better suited to specific tasks or learning.

We can think of the Computer as running at a speed around four times that of the Chimp and twenty times that of the Human. Therefore, if the Computer is operating well, it can execute commands at an amazing speed with complete accuracy and before the Chimp or Human has a chance to finish thinking.

The Chimp and the Human both input into the Computer and therefore programme it. Once the Computer has programmes to run with, it will take over and allow the Chimp and Human to take a break from thinking and interpreting. The Computer is programmed to think and act for us but only with information that we have told it to use. These stored beliefs and behaviours are therefore learnt by the Human and Chimp and put into the Computer. This is in contrast to the Chimp’s instincts that are inherited in the genes giving rise to instant reactions from the Chimp.

The Computer does most of the work in taking us through our day. How well it gets us through the day will depend on what has been put into it. We can of course add and remove things from the Computer, if we stop and take time to maintain it. The problem is that most of us do not do this.

Autopilots are all the positive, constructive beliefs, behaviours and automatic functioning that help us to be successful and happy in life. They can be placed into the computer at any age. So Autopilots could include, for example: riding a bike; staying calm when something goes wrong; focusing on solutions rather than problems; tying a shoelace; being organised and disciplined as a routine; having a positive self-image.

Goblins and Gremlins are more or less the opposite of Autopilots. They are unhelpful and destructive behaviours, beliefs or automatic programmes that are stored in the Computer. A Goblin is usually put into the Computer when you are very young. During the very early part of your childhood your Computer tends to hard-wire any information put into it. So Goblins are more or less hard-wired into the Computer and are very difficult to remove, so you need to learn to contain them. As a rule, Goblins occur before the age of about eight and Gremlins usually occur after the age of eight. As Gremlins are soft-wired, when you find them you can remove them.

Let me give one example of a Goblin. The Fridge Door Syndrome depicts the most common example of a Goblin and this one affects most people in the Western world.

It is the first day of school and the young child is full of emotion. The teacher says to the child, ‘Let’s paint a picture for your parents.’ After painting the picture the child runs home to show the parent. As the child runs up to the parent, the parent says, ‘What is that you’ve got?’ The child hands over the painting. The parent responds, ‘This picture is fantastic, you are very clever, I am so proud of you, I want the world to know just how good you are,’ and then puts the picture on the fridge door for all the world to see just how clever the child is. What has happened is that the child now has a great big Goblin to share life with! Let’s look at the same scenario with a different approach. The child returns from school with the painting and runs to the parent. The parent responds with, ‘Hang on,’ and moves the painting to one side and hugs the child. Then the parent says, ‘I am so proud of you and you are clever and I want the world to know just how proud I am of you.’ ‘Now, what is this that you have got?’ The parent and child now have a discussion about the painting and the parent compliments the painting and the child, and asks the child if they would like to put it on the fridge door because it is pretty. In the first scenario what the parent did was to tell the child that it was clever and that the parent was proud of it because of what the child had achieved. In other words, implying that the child’s worth is dependent on the painting. Then the parent went o...

If we knew nobody thought badly of us then we would have little fear, it would be more of a nuisance to fail and we would then deal with the consequences. We would also not weigh our own self-worth by an exam result. This is the Fridge Door Goblin at its best!

Consider a simple Gremlin that says, ‘I believe that I should always be on time.’ If you are late, for whatever reason, then you are likely to become stressed, as you are going on a belief that you should always be on time. You could replace the Gremlin with an Autopilot that says, ‘I would like to be on time whenever I can but sometimes this can’t happen and it is not the end of the world and I will deal with it.’ This is a more realistic belief that is likely to relax you and help you to act more like an adult than a child if things don’t go according to plan!

Both the Human and the Chimp use the Computer as a memory bank for decision-making.

The Stone of Life is your ultimate reference point. It is where your ‘Truths of Life’, ‘Values’ and ‘Life Force’ are all inscribed. The Chimp and Human gauge everything by the Stone so let us look at these three things in detail.

Everyone will have different truths but many of us share some of the same truths. The truths may be the same as some Autopilots or even some Gremlins, but they are the ones that you have chosen to live by. They are a set of beliefs that you believe are true. For example, suppose you have the rule that ‘life is not fair’. This seems reasonable as a ‘Truth of Life’ to most of us because we know it is ‘true’. If we then say that this is true and we live by it, then we would not get particularly upset or not even get upset at all if something was unfair, because that is how we believe that life works. It doesn’t mean that we don’t try to be fair in life but it does mean that when life is unfair we accept it and deal with it.

My first three Truths of Life are: 1. Life is not fair. 2. The goal posts move. 3. There are no guarantees. If I manage to live by these ‘truths’ or rules then very little upsets me. When I don’t live by these ‘truths’, and have days where I say, ‘But life is fair,’ then I come unstuck and have to remind myself of the reality. Of course these truths don’t mean that I just roll over in life, far from it, but it does mean that at the end of the day if I have to accept injustice then I can accept it and move on unscathed.

Within the Computer you have unwritten values that you believe to be important to you. Just as with the Truths of Life, it is very helpful for you to work out your values, as these values will be the guide for the Human and Chimp to work to. The values will act as a constant reminder of where your heart and soul lie and will settle down both the Human and Chimp in times of distress. Values are judgement calls that you have made and reflect moral and ethical principles that you intend to uphold. For example, you may hold the value that ‘lying is wrong’. This is not a truth of life as you can’t prove it, but it is a value judgement. Common values that some people hold could be: • Being unfaithful is wrong. • Family is more important than work. • Being selfless is a virtue.

So the difference between ‘Truths’ and ‘Values’ is that ‘Truths’ are evidence-based, whereas ‘Values’ are personal judgement calls.

imagine that you are 100 years old and on your death bed with one minute left to live. Your great-great-grandchild asks, ‘Before you die, tell me what I should do with my life?’ Pause for a moment now and try to honestly answer the question immediately within the next minute. You have just one minute, start now and then when the time is up and you have worked out what you would say to them, continue reading.

Answering this question will identify what is important to you, what is the essence of the Sun within your Universe. It is what life is all about to you. It is your ‘Life Force’. Many of you will answer with statements such as, ‘it doesn’t matter what you do’, ‘be happy’, ‘don’t worry’, and ‘make the most of it’. Whatever your advice was to your great-great-grandchild is really the advice to yourself. If you are not living by this advice, which is the essence of your existence, you are living a lie. Don’t live a lie; it will unsettle you more than anything else.

The final aspect of the Computer acting as a reference is the Mindset. To understand a Mindset it is helpful to ask three specific questions. • How do you see yourself? • How do you see others? • How do you see the world? The way in which we approach life is greatly influenced by the way in which we see ourselves, others and the world in which we live. These three viewpoints represent the Mindset that we hold. So a Mindset is the basis that we work from when dealing with ourself, others and the world.

If you can recognise these Gremlins then you can remove them. To replace a Gremlin you must introduce an Autopilot. In other words, if you have a belief that is unhelpful, you must replace it with a helpful belief.

Whenever a Gremlin is at work it will typically leave you with a negative experience, which will be either an unwelcome emotion or a negative outcome. This often means that the Gremlin will stop you doing something you want to do or have you doing something that you don’t want to do. Only you can decide if a belief you have is helpful or not, depending on what makes you happy and how you want to live your life.

To find your Gremlins, think of a time

when you had an emotion that you didn’t want. This is usually a negative emotion – people don’t normally complain about being too happy or excited! Such an emotion could be: anger, frustration, upset or disappointment. Next, re-live the situation. What happened? What were you doing? What were others doing? What were you thinking? Focus on what you were thinking and ask yourself if this was a helpful thought or not. Also, was it a truthful thought or not? If it is causing you a negative emotion it is likely to be an unhelpful Gremlin and could be removed. Gremlins and the Chimp can be hard to distinguish between if they are both saying the same thing. This is not too surprising since it was the Chimp t...

we all have to decide for ourselves what we want and how we want to act and what we want to believe. This is a choice, and with all choices come consequences. Only you can decide how you want to act in your world. If you want things to change then you have to look at things differently. If you are unwilling to challenge your beliefs then the Gremlin will remain and you must accept the consequences.

Remember that when you have identified the belief that sits behind your negative emotions you have to replace it with something. You are trying to create a new automatic thought, an Autopilot, or

pathway, in the brain. You need to replace the Gremlin with a positive Autopilot statement and you need to think about this regularly, rehearsing it ...

If these Autopilots were in the Computer, then when the Chimp began to get angry or upset it would look into the Computer and recognise that this was an inappropriate response and it would calm down. However, this needs to be reinforced by rehearsing these responses so that the pathways in the Computer override and remove the previously unhelpful ones.

Whatever you do, don’t try to brainwash yourself, or fool yourself into something that you don’t believe, because it will fail to stop the Gremlins.

It can take several weeks or months to reinforce an Autopilot and remove the Gremlin. Gremlins have a nasty habit of returning so watch out for them. You need to be vigilant and try to address them every time you recognise them.

Putting Autopilots or Gremlins into the Computer is done by experience, including discussions and education. So when you experience anything in life you will interpret this. If you interpret it in a negative and unhelpful way then Gremlins will appear in the Computer for future reference. If you interpret the event or experience in a positive or constructive way then Autopilots get put into the Computer.Therefore it is important when inputting into the Computer that you think carefully through the experience that you have had and interpret it correctly.

The key here is not to listen to the Chimp but to listen to the Human and check out the facts first. This will then put Autopilots into the Computer for future reference.

Humans don’t always get it right and Chimps don’t always get it wrong.

The whole point of getting your Universe in order is to let the Sun, which is at the centre of your Universe, be the focal point of everything. This Sun is what you believe life is all about and is about self-fulfilment. Of course, many people have a strong faith and this will be the meaning of their life and most, if not all of their values, will be based on this faith.

It is the Stone of Life that holds the key to stabilising your entire Universe.

It is worth challenging your Mindset by

experimenting. Whilst working with a group of medical students in a hospital setting, we tried an experiment. Several students were asked to believe that he or she were the Clinical Director of the hospital. The students were then observed to see what they did. Most of them walked down the centre of the corridor and greeted staff and patients with a polite ‘Good morning’ and were seen to initiate the interaction. Then we asked them to walk down the corridor again but this time as if they were the cleaner of the hospital who was on a temporary contract and likely to lose their job very soon. This time most of the students were observed to walk down the edge of the corridor and not to engage with others they passed. The students did not know that they were being observed for behaviours in the corridor. When shown their change of behaviour based on the perception of themselves they were surprised.

One way to see how you are really coming across is to see the effects you are having on others. Do others find you good company? Do others feel energised when they have met you? Decide which thoughts about yourself are constructive and which ones are destructive. Be sure you have realistic expectations of yourself. Remember: the values you hold in y...

True friends like us for our values and personalities not for our achievements, position and possessions.

If you believe values and attitudes are the important things in your life then clarify these and work on them when you want to develop a picture of yourself, as they

are what is important to you and define you. I am not saying we shouldn’t try to achieve things or have possessions and feel good about having these things, but I am saying that these things need to be in tune with your values. If your values are based on having specific characteristics in your personali...