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If she is Shadow, then I am Flame. This girl is the very thing I can’t seem to escape—can’t seem to go anywhere without the remnants of her following. Where I am, she is. Whether it’s in the flesh or in the fragments of my mind. And where there is a flame, there is always a shadow. She is my inevitable.
“You cannot be nothing when you are everything to someone else.”
“You’re not just a mission to me. You’re not just another enemy for me to find. You’re something even more terrifying.” Her voice is little more than a whisper. “And what is that?” “A need.”
Because, despite it all, I’ve come to realize that there is little I wouldn’t sacrifice for him.
“Why won’t you fight me?” My voice cracks, tears suddenly crowding my vision. “Because the next time I lay a hand on you, I only ever want it to be in a caress,” he says softly.
He reaches over and gently flicks the tip of my nose, making me giggle in a way I didn’t know I could. “Plagues, I love that sound,” he murmurs, making me fall silent. “I would tattoo it into my skin if it meant you’d laugh at me for doing it.”
The end of this mission is so near, and yet, I’m not sure if I have the strength to finish it. But I’m chained to duty, created to command. I was made for the king, not for her. I could never be worthy of her.
“Dammit, the minute you threw a dagger at my head, I knew I was done for. There was no longer a before you, only what I wanted with you.”
“Tell me you hate me, and I’ll still count every heartbeat, every freckle, every shiver of your body, if only you say it with a smile.” He backs away, freeing my face from his hands. “I may be a monster, but if you cut me, I’ll bleed. And if you break my heart, Pae, you’ll break me. So, if even a sliver of your soul longs for mine, I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to deserve it.”
“Maybe you really are a poet,” I whisper. He smiles softly. “Or just a fool for you.”
“Pretend?” My voice is small, soft like the breeze blowing through my short hair. “Never.” “None of it?” I ask quietly. “Darling”—he smiles—“I have never had to pretend to want you.”
“I won’t spend the rest of my life hating you for saving yourself.”
“I forgive you, Kai. I think I might have a while ago. Because I can forgive you for what you didn’t even know you were doing.”
“Oh, but you are my undoing. My deliverance. My downfall disguised as a deity.” Another slow step. “You are my ruin.”
“Call us even. Call me crazy. I don’t care. Just…” His eyes are pleading, brimming with emotion. “Just call me yours.”
I wrap my arms around his neck. He is my anchor, and I am willing to sink, so long as it is with him.
“Touch her again,” he snarls, voice low, “and I’ll slit your throat. She’s mine
Every touch, every dance, every kiss disguised as distraction was anything but. Because before I loved her, I longed for her. She was a want I wasn’t worthy of. And I’m afraid I’ll never get the chance to deserve her. Because now that I have her, I’m giving her away.
