More on this book
Community
Kindle Notes & Highlights
“He was just informing me of my first mission.” She’s quiet for a long moment. “It’s her, isn’t it?” I nod. “It’s her.”
I used to welcome the idea of drowning in those blue eyes of hers. But now, seeing the disdain she stares me down with, I realize that drowning alone wasn’t what I craved, but sinking together.
If she is Shadow, then I am Flame. This girl is the very thing I can’t seem to escape—can’t seem to go anywhere without the remnants of her following. Where I am, she is. Whether it’s in the flesh or in the fragments of my mind. And where there is a flame, there is always a shadow. She is my inevitable.
“You promised to be my undoing,” I murmur, lowering my head close enough to hear her sharp intake of breath. “So, prove it.” Her face angles up toward mine, our noses brushing. She never lowers her dagger, and the point of her blade still draws blood from my throat. “Prove it,” I repeat, voice quiet. “Hate me enough to make me want you.” I cup her jaw, feeling her eyes burning into mine. “Ruin me.” Our mouths crash together.
This kiss is deep and anything but tender. It is betrayal. It is bitterness. And nothing has ever tasted so sweet. It is ruin.
“Don’t do that. Don’t go saying my name because you think it might be the last time you ever will.” He has the nerve to chuckle. “Your name seems like a good word to die with on my lips.” “Kai—”
“I regret not doing it right. And I regret not being what I’m supposed to be.” He strokes a thumb across my wet cheek. “I’m sorry you have to be anything at all.”
My heart aches. Aches to be reunited with the piece he’s stolen from me. My nose brushes his. “Pretend,” I whisper against his lips. I am recklessness incarnate. Until the very end. My mouth meets his.
“I hate you.” I run my hand slowly up her side. “Prove it to me, Gray,” I murmur against her ear. “Hate me enough to use me.”
I sink into oblivion, the thought of her my final prayer.
“The only mistake was not making it sooner.”
“No”—his fingers trail up my neck to trace my jaw—“the mistake was tasting you now that you likely won’t let me do it again.”
“Your fingertips, maybe. But not your hands,” I say evenly. “Three lives are hardly enough to stain your soul.”
It’s troubling, how tempting she is. She tasted like a privilege, felt like a dream.
“Jealousy looks good on you, Gray,” I murmur, my fingers still cupping her chin.
My gaze lingers on her lips before traveling down the length of her. “Then you just look good.”
“And I’m not accustomed to losing.” I scoff softly. “No, you’re used to that pretty face and title of yours getting you everything you want.” He pulls back enough to look me in the eyes, allowing me to glimpse the emotion peeking through the cracks in his mask. His gray gaze travels over my face, taking in every disheveled inch of me. “Not everything.”
Everyone joked that she was the prettier version of me. And when I looked at her, I saw the best parts of myself.”
“No. I won’t give you the satisfaction of making me laugh.” “But then you’d be depriving me of the sound.”
“What I felt for you went against every order I’ve ever been given.”
“Your spirit is familiar. You remind me of what could have been. In another life, I think Ava would have grown up to be like you.” I struggle to laugh. “What, you wanted her to be a criminal?” “No,” he murmurs. “I wanted her to be formidable. Recklessly bold. Powerful despite ability.”
“You are much more than those things.” “You overestimate me.” “No. I just see you.”
“He used to dance for me until I fell asleep,” I whisper against his chest.
I feel him nod against my hair. “Then we’ll dance until you’re dreaming of him.”
Her head is crushing my arm. And I fear I’d never move again if it meant she stayed beside me.
And it’s terrifying. Terrifying to know every terrible thing she’s done and still want all of her in spite of it. I just don’t know if she can say the same for me.
“You going to kiss me, Gray, or just continue admiring what you see?” he murmurs, now running a thumb over my bottom lip. “Still contemplating drowning you, actually.” My voice is breathy, my own fingers wandering over the curve of his jaw. “Oh, darling, I already am.” His lips inch closer to mine, teasing me. “And I’m begging you to let me breathe you in.” I smile slyly. “I thought you never begged?” “I’m getting used to it when it comes to you.”
“The truth, then?” He nods. “The truth, always.”
“You cannot be nothing when you are everything to someone else.”
