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“Like what else? That’s the only class we have together.”
This dude is an idiot omg how did he make it to the age of 20
“Mom, please don’t make a big deal out of this,” I interrupt, rushing the words out so fast, they’re almost unintelligible. “I went after him, he didn’t know how old I was, and when he found out, he ran so fast I thought he’d break the sound barrier. And it was never more than kisses.” And groping, and one hand job that introduced me to wonders I hadn’t yet discovered in my previous fumbling attempts. But Mom doesn’t need to hear that.
Ummmm this isnt okay
“My poor sweet spawn.
Can she plz stop calling him spawn
you’re still my sweet spawn.”
Stop
Said he couldn’t think of anything he could do.
Bro just doesnt sound interested
“Apparently, every time she drinks beer, she craves cupcakes. It’ll get to a point at every party where she says she wishes she had a cupcake.” He shrugs. “So tonight she got a cupcake.”
Craving a cupcake with beer?!?!?
Indelible Ink, a tattoo shop that’s popular with a lot of people on campus,
Guessing this will come into play
“I didn’t see this coming, and I’m sorry. I should have anticipated it so you weren’t blindsided.” Charlie gives me an incredulous look. “You should have anticipated that someone would think I was their sugar daddy?”
Lol
But let’s face it, Charlie’s kind of special.
That is a very nice way of saying socially inept
Every cent I don’t spend on frivolous stuff now means dollars I won’t have to repay later.
Same
“We should be fake boyfriends for real!”
FAKE DATING YAAAASSSSS
“They’re just clothes. They keep you warm and prevent you from getting arrested.”
he's metrooooo
“You see this T-shirt? I got this at Walmart. It’s not about designer, Lee. It’s about style. That”—he waves at my jeans and sweater, which okay, they may be my nicest but I’ve had them for years and they were never trendy and it’s possible the colors don’t really go together—“is not style. Ooh, we should go shopping!”
Charlie is 100% metrosexual
I try not to sound condescending and offensive, but from the look on Lee’s face, I’ve failed miserably. And okay, I get why. But he dresses like a colorblind seventy-year-old who didn’t look in the mirror before leaving the house.
Ok charlie youre growing on me
“Well, like today. You came to brunch with me and had to wear brunch-appropriate clothing. Which, honestly, that outfit—” “Are you about to insult my clothes again?” There’s a thread of laughter in his voice. “Yup. I really, really am. ‘Clothes’ is a good word, because ‘outfit’ was stretching things.” Now he laughs outright. “C’mon, I’m wearing jeans and a sweater. They’re in muted colors and have no holes or anything.” Oh, the poor, deprived man.
Yep. Metro
Romantic books and movies? You mean like porn? Liam: . . . Liam: Since when has porn EVER been romantic? Charlie: Not like PORN porn, but that other porn. You know, the books with the half-naked people on the covers. My mom collects them for the women at the shelters she works with. Liam: Not porn, Charlie. Romance novels.
Omg
There is sex, sometimes a lot of sex, but it’s secondary to the story. The main point is for the characters to fall in love and end up happy together.
Breaking the fourth walllll
I like most sports to watch, but I’m really not competitive enough to play.
Totally metro
“Could I maybe come and watch you one day? I’ll stay out of the way. I won’t even talk.”
Lee is even falling for the golden retriever that is Charlie
“I could give you kisses.”
Fake dating behind closed dooooorsssss
Lee sets a fast pace, his hand twisting repeatedly in a strong milking
Not the milking
Charlie stumbles to a stop every few yards, and I have to get his attention and make sure I stay out of his reach to keep him moving. Each time, he’s so excited to see me and eagerly chases after me—in a shambling, weaving, kept-upright-by-friends way—for a bit before forgetting what’s going on and trying to sit or lie down right in the middle of the sidewalk.
Such a golden retriever boiiii
Allegra
Not the allergy medicine
“Night, spawn.”
Can we nottttt
“After dinner and the speeches, there’s gonna be dancing. Mom likes to get bands that people are talking about but haven’t had a big break yet. Two of her previous finds got record deals after playing one of her fundraisers.”
This sounds lit
Lee’s acting weird. I think it started on the weekend, but I can’t be sure. He got on great with Mom and Dad—and Marc—which I knew he would, and he even enjoyed the fundraiser. I mean, that might be because I made him dance with me most of the night. Gymnasts have awesome dance moves. Everyone there was jealous of me for being his partner.
Not the miscommunication
“You like Joy Universe?”
Oooo more books?!?
“It’s an expression,”
Butthole over nose is not any expression i know lmao
Lee’s been in the shower for two minutes when I decide the boyfriendly thing to do is to join him for a surprise blowjob.
Yay the shower bj scene we missed at his parents house lmao
Space Reivers.”
Why are we giving fake movie names but real musicians
