The (Honest) Truth About Dishonesty: How We Lie to Everyone  Especially Ourselves

by Dan Ariely

When the rules are somewhat open to interpretation, when there are gray areas, and when people are left to score their own performance—even honorable games such as golf can be traps for dishonesty.

biased incentives can—and do—lead even the most upstanding professionals astray.

Psychological studies show that we quickly and easily start believing whatever comes out of our own mouths, even when the original reason for expressing the opinion is no longer relevant

More generally, I learned—again—about the importance of establishing rules that can safeguard ourselves from ourselves.

The basic idea behind ego depletion is that resisting temptation takes considerable effort and energy.

THE BOTTOM LINE is that we should not view a single act of dishonesty as just one petty act.

As in other aspects of life, here too the balance lies between happiness (partially driven by self-deception) and optimal decisions for the future (and a more realistic view of ourselves).

in the end, I came to believe that there are certain circumstances in which white lies are justified.

when we feel hurt, there is hardly a limit to the extent to which we can reframe our moral code.

Never hurt anyone... it can fire back!

mere feeling of being watched can inhibit bad behavior.

When we have a mandate to be objective and an incentive not to be, our biases often win the day—even if we don’t think they will.

try as hard as you can not to accept gifts that could sway your judgment. If you must accept a dinner on someone else’s tab, realize that it might be an effort to change your thinking and behavior. And if you’re in a situation in which the conflict of interest is unavoidable, decide in advance to set up a clear ranking of loyalties and priorities and make sure that you remember to follow them.

Altruism is a powerful rationalization.

what we need are specific and precise rules that are ideally connected to a higher meaning.