What's Left of Me

by Kristen Granata

I can be better.

I’d give anything to step on a Lego block belonging to my child.

“When someone pushes you away, you need to find the strength to hold on tighter.” Maybe Callie just needs someone to fight for her, to show her how she should be fighting for herself.

“Nothing you do could ever be a bother to me. You hear me?”

We both exhale, and I don’t know who needs this more. The angel caught up in chaos, or the demon searching for peace.

Everything about him is a contradiction. He’s tender and rough at the same time. Both the calm and the storm, the dark and the light. And maybe that’s how we should be. Maybe that’s what makes us human. Maybe there isn’t right and wrong, or black and white. Nothing is cut and dry. We have no right to pass judgment on anyone—not even ourselves. We’re all convoluted paradoxes ruled by our emotions, searching for what makes us feel alive.

“Your mistakes don’t define you. They teach you, sure. But they don’t change who you are. They don’t dictate your future. Not unless you let it.” I smirk. “Do you get these quotes from an inspirational calendar?”

‘When someone pushes you away, you need to find the strength to hold on tighter.’

“You’re always so busy taking care of everyone else.” She touches her hand to my cheek. “Who’s going to take care of you?”

That’s just Callie. She’s good and pure. An angel without the wings. And I’m the dumb bastard who’s foolish enough to think he could ever be worthy of her.

“Show me where he hurt you.” Her eyebrows pinch together, and disbelief twists her features. “What?” “I want you to show me all the places you’ve ever been hurt, Callie. I want to erase every mark he’s ever left on you, and I’m going to replace the old memories with a new one.” Her eyes glisten, and she shakes her head. “You don’t have to do that.”