Addicted to You (Addicted, #1)

by Krista Ritchie

When I glance back, I notice the guy outside. Eyes right on me. “No need,” he says. I sweep his features. Light brown hair, short on either side, full on top. Decently toned body hidden beneath a pair of faded Dockers and a black crew-neck tee. Cheekbones that cut like ice and eyes like liquid scotch. Loren Hale is an alcoholic beverage and he doesn’t even know it. All six-foot-two of him fills the doorway.

I barely stumble on his frequent use of love. In middle school, I told him how I thought it was the sexiest term of endearment. And even though British guys have claimed stake to it, Lo took it as his own.

On an attractiveness scale, he ranges right between a lead singer from a rock band you’d like to fuck and a runway model for Burberry and Calvin Klein. Although, he’s never been in a band, but a modeling agency did scout him once, wanting him for a Burberry campaign.

Some days, he can be sexy. Others, he can crush you with a glare.

His addiction scares me sometimes. Alcoholism can destroy livers and kidneys, and one day, he may not wake up from a night of bingeing. But how can I tell him to stop? How can I judge him when I am nowhere near ready to let go of my crutch? So for right now, this is the best I can do.

His voice lowers, the doors shutting. “You’re a permanent fixture in my life. You’re not going anywhere.”

“I know I can be a royal asshole. But I love you. You’re my best friend and the only person I’ve ever told that I have a problem. It doesn’t matter if we’re in a fucking fake relationship. We’re supposed to talk to each other. Come to me before you go off the deep end, okay?”

“How’s Cassie?” “She hasn’t been in the apartment in days, Lily,” he says, reminding me of all the time I lost in my hazy state. “What happened?” My chest lightens, and I hate that I’m taking pleasure in his aloneness. “There’s this girl who ran out of my apartment.” He pauses. “She looked like a bat out of hell. She barely combed her hair, not unusual for her”—he shrugs—“but she seemed pissed, and the only difference in our relationship had been this new blonde girl on a bar stool. So I dumped her, figured it may solve a problem or two.” He waits, tilting his head at me while I process what he just said. My chest swells. “Did it?” he asks. I should be the better person and say no, let him have a normal life with a beautiful blonde bombshell. But I’ve never been good at the morality bit. “Maybe.” He actually smiles and rests a hand on my neck. He kisses my forehead before I can form thoughts, and when he pulls away, his lips brush my ear. “I’m here for you. Always.”

“I’m not one of your conquests,” he says in a throaty voice. “I know what you want, and you don’t need to take it. I can give it to you.”

“I’ve never pretended, Lil. We’ve been together, even if you thought it was some fucking lie. We just weren’t having sex.” He stares at his glass. “On bad days, I’d touch you more than I should, I admit. Like when Daisy spent the night, but I was hoping you’d finally open your eyes and realize that I was there. You didn’t have to suffer or go be fulfilled by some other guy. I was right in front of you.”

“I want to love you more than I love this”—he waves his bottle—“and I don’t know how else to do it unless there’s something to lose.”

“I assure you, having sex is not a chore, especially not with you. As for your problems, well, that’s what being in a relationship is about, Lil. Your problem is now my problem. In fact, it’s almost always been my problem. Now I just get the reward instead of watching some douchebag take it.”

I need to start a drinking game. I’ll take a shot every time Connor finds another creative way to call me dumb. On second thought, I’d probably die from alcohol poisoning.

“You two are so weird,” Connor says, very casually. Being called weird by Connor is like a unicorn calling a horse magical. It makes no damn sense, which is why Lo and I break into smiles, even if Lo’s mood has somewhat shifted since the phone call.

“How about this?” His husky, low voice takes my breath. “Just repeat this phrase whenever you feel the urge to jump some other guy’s bones.” His mouth brushes my ear. “Loren Hale fucks better.

“That’ll work, but I’m coming up with a different mantra.” “And what’s that?” His lip quirks, but the bottles call out to him. And his eyes flicker away from me. “I will not cheat on Loren Hale.”

A fist bangs on the door. “Loren Hale!” Connor calls. “You better wake up. You promised me gym. I want gym.” Lo reluctantly leaves my side and lets him in. “You’re on time,” he says flatly, going back to the kitchen.

My bio book rests under his arm, and for the first time I allow myself a good look at Ryke. Without his Green Arrow costume, he appears slightly older, especially with a stubbly jaw and tanned skin. Underneath his white track shirt, I’m sure lies very toned and very lean muscles. He has a face that could force girls to their knees, but so does Lo. I can’t imagine the two of them squaring off. Ice vs. Stone. Sharpness vs. Hardness. Cold vs. Hot. They’re different, yet somehow, they’re still alike.

“Why do you want to fix him so badly?” Ryke stares at me with more empathy than I thought he was capable of. “My father is an alcoholic, and I don’t want Lo to turn out like him. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

It’d be easier to let him go, to return to our regular rituals, but now that I’ve had him, I can’t imagine not being swept in his arms and being fulfilled to the highest degree.

“You cannot get rid of me, Lily. Nothing you do or say will make me leave. If you don’t tell me now, then I’ll hear of it in a year…” “Stop,” I cry. “…three years, five years, a decade. I’ll wait for you to tell me.” She’s crying—a girl who never cries, who squirms at the sight of tears and a wailing baby. “I love you. You’re my sister. That will never change.” She squeezes my hands.

“I love you, but I want to love you enough that I never choose alcohol over you. Not even for a moment. I want to be someone you deserve. Who helps you rather than enables you, and I can’t begin to do that until I get help for myself.”

I stare at a pair for a long moment, their gray hair short and nearly identical. They bicker about a spill on the man’s shirt, and the woman leans over to help him wipe it up. I want that to be us. I want to grow old and yell at Lo for dribbling coffee. I want him to be my forever. For the first time, he may be on the right path towards reaching that. I can only hope I’ll join him too.

He slowly drops to his knees and puts a palm on the carpet. “Lo,” Ryke says, bending to him. He tries to help, but Lo swats him away with wild, watery eyes. “Where’s Lily?” he asks, frantic. “Lily!” He whips his head. “Lily!” he cries, searching for me. Rose finally lets me go, and I run into Lo’s arms. He holds me tightly and cries into my shoulder, his body heaving. “I’m here,” I breathe. “It’s okay.” When I look up, I see Ryke and Rose exchanging hesitation.

Rose rubs my back, and I spin to face her fully. She looks at me with more concern than I thought possible. In the end, it was not a boy who helped me. It was my sister.

“I’ll always be yours. No distance or time apart will change that, Lily. You need to believe that.”

“Wait for me.” The words come out choked and pained. “I need you to wait for me.” Someone put him up to this. I glance over my shoulder, and Rose has her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide. I look at Ryke, and his hard gaze says nothing. This was Lo’s idea. He knew the only way for me to truly fight is if I have something to lose.

I open my mouth, wanting to express all of my feelings at once. I love you. I’ll wait for you! You’re my best friend and my soul mate and my lover. I’m so proud of you. Please…come back to me. His lips upturn in a hopeful smile. “I know.”