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He rested his forehead against hers, and breathed,
“It changes colour in the sun.” But he was not done like Winter thought. His other hand moved to cup her face and titled it up to him. His skin was icy against hers. “And you have freckles. More than I thought.” He stopped for a moment, gazing straight into her eyes as if he was seeing them for the first time. “You’re a stunning creature, Winter.”
He nuzzled her palm and pressed a kiss at the edge before he let go of her.
“I am only what I can be. That is what it reads.”
“I think these eyes would change his mind.”
He turned to her fully, his hand spanning across the nape of her neck. “Who would dare paint it as such?”
“It is. But I pity the world that holds you and doesn’t see you.”
She’d done enough of it for the past twenty-four years.
“I want to bring you chamomile and biscuits and chocolates, but I don’t know if they can fix this, whatever that is hurting you.”
“You.” Her ears rang after she said those words, so she filled the space with more of her truths, “I want you to kiss me, but we only have two more days to live.” She heard his sharp inhale, saw his chest rise like the thunder outside—as if it raged. “And I told you I’d save you,” he said, and then crushed his lips to hers.
“You’d make any man, God or not, fall on his knees and pray for damnation.” He kissed his way down her neck, marking her pale skin with his mouth. “Nothing would be holier than to be ruined by you.”
“Why not? I want the shadows and the light both to know of the crime I’ve committed by making you mine. That I’ve ruined the one thing pure left in this world. That only I can do it. That they are forbidden to ever want to ruin you. Look at me,” he ordered, cupping her jaw, and slowing his thrusts.
He didn’t look at her as he straightened the books on the table. “I would have found you, Winter. Wherever you hid. From me, you, the world.”
“You don’t have to. I don’t think I’ve ever looked at anyone else before you.” He cupped her jaw with a hand and kissed her.
“I don’t want to look out of the window, Winter, I have something better to look at.”
“What, my sun?” he sternly asked,
“Your little friend said you’d sell your soul for something called marshmallows. I can’t allow that, so I thought I could buy some for you. She told me where the shop was,” he said, linking their hands together and pulling her in the middle of the walking crowd.
“Maybe I should just turn you into a rooted plant,” he muttered, following after her. “Then I’ll turn myself into a vine to wrap around you.”
He planted about a dozen kisses on her face
He swallowed as if he was swallowing medicine. “I’m deeply concerned.”
“Make another sound that can wake her up and I’ll send you to pay respects in a burning hell hole.”
It had always surprised him how quick they were to put the two brothers against one another, how quick they were to assume bad blood between them. When the truth was…he adored his big brother, adored what he was and what he did, his sense of justice and his strong beliefs. Despite all that had happened in Azriel’s life, despite the love his selfish parents had deprived him of, his brother was the best thing they had given him.
“You have sought me?” he asked hoarsely against the heavy weight that had settled on top of his chest. “Why have you sought me?”
“I forbid you to want me,” he said coldly, his whole body vibrating with another sort of anger. “I forbid you to come to me.”
She didn’t stop even when it caught fire and began burning the wood. Even when she could feel the heat below her feet or when sweat covered her body. She did not stop even when flames began burning around her body and licking over her skin. She did not like pain. Winter did not like pain, but she didn’t stop and didn’t cry.
“No!” Winter screamed, climbing down the pyre, and running towards him despite the burns in her body. “Please, they only want to live. Please, you do not know how it is to want to live and cannot. I know it, Az, please. I know it. Don’t do it like this. Not like this. Not when they are so afraid.”
“You would. I can bear my anger, but not your resentment.”
“Live, Winter. Live wanting. Live deciding. Live for you. And live…for me, too. Make it good, my little sun. Make it really good. I want to hear all about it. I will wait this time. I will wait for you. Do not come to me. Do not seek me. Not unless you wish to break my heart.”
This is low key cruel to let her live out her life without him.. like i get what he’s saying/his point but still to be alone (without him) throughout seems like a punishment 😭😭
Her cries never stopped. Not once in the next few months she remained at the Sanctum. Even years later, people could swear they heard their haunting sound echo with the wind.
But Death had decided one was enough to save them all.
There was very little Winter did not like about Death. Waiting for him was one of them. And perhaps all of it.

