Faking It (Losing It, #2)

by Cora Carmack

“It’s better this way Untouched under glass It’s better, I say This way I’ll last.”

I was free. Time to fly.

No matter how hard we tried to keep ourselves apart, we always wound up right back here.

How long would it take for him to realize that I wasn’t really what he wanted? And how badly would it hurt when he did? I felt sick from my stomach to my soul.

a lot

Then I ran, leaving behind the best thing that could never happen to me.

I was naive to think she could ever be happy with someone like me. And I was naive to think it had only been physical attraction. It was so much more than that. All I knew was that I was pretty damn tired of having my heart handed to me in a blender.

Whatever connection we’d had was long gone. I just needed to accept that.

It was a thorn on the dark side of my heart that told me I was inadequate, that there was some measure of what it meant to be good, to be important, and I didn’t reach it. As long as no one else saw that thorn, it was a secret I could protect, a wound I could nurse in private.

I’d spent so much of my life, too much of it, altering myself to please other people. This was my crossroads moment, and nothing would be the same on this new road, including me.

everything about you makes me better. You make me take chances and make bolder choices. You make me less concerned with being perfect and more concerned with being real. You make me want to be fearless.”

I am filled with fear every day of my life, and it chokes me until I can’t move or breathe or think without it taking over.

I admitted, “I’m so afraid.” “I know you are. But fear lets us know we’re alive. It tells me that you care about what happens between us because the mind doesn’t waste time being scared about things that don’t matter.”

“You don’t understand. Yes, I have feelings for you.” His lips spread into a smile, and it almost derailed my thoughts. I pulled my face away from his and continued, “It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, leaving you. But I know myself. I know how I work, and that’s why I don’t trust myself to be with you. My heart is fickle and inconstant, and I’m terrified I’ll wake up one day and feel differently.” He smiled sadly and said, “I think you’re terrified that you won’t.”

sob