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He’s actually done and I hate it. The distance between us is palpable and I wish I could have him back without risking everything else. But that’s not how life works, I made this choice for the both of us and I have to see it through.
“If you told me yes right now, I’d go out into the living room and tell them all that we’re together and they can fucking deal with it. I’d shoulder it all. But I wasn’t worth it to you. Do you know how that makes me feel?”
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m exhausted trying to make you see what I already know.”
“That’s not fair, Lincoln. It’s not ...
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Not only is Penny around every goddamn corner I turn, but she keeps giving me this sad look like I’m the one who broke her heart. I was the one who wanted this; I was willing to risk it all, but she’s acting like I’m being unreasonable.
Penny makes an aww sound while the twins make noises of revulsion. I look over at Penny and wonder if there was a moment she fell for me too, or if it was all just sex for her. God, when did I become such a loser?
It’s truly pathetic, the way I’m like a lost puppy following her around. No matter how many times she kicks me, I still want her to want me.
“I’m going to give you time to think. I didn’t intend for tonight to happen, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not glad it did. I’ve
tried to stop thinking about you, to stop wanting you. I know you feel the same way. You kissed me back. Despite everything, you want this too.”
“My brother just saw us and really didn’t give a fuck. Jessa doesn’t care either. Do you think maybe you’re underestimating our family?” She
“I don’t want another life lesson, Lincoln. I want a life partner. If you really want me. This,” she says, pointing between the two of us. “Then I need to know it’s for keeps.”
I can’t help the smile that takes over my face. “You’re really going to give this a shot?” I confirm.
“Please don’t break my heart or take away my family,” she says, looking down.
“Your family isn’t going anywhere and out of the two of us, you’re the one who could break us.”
What if my person has been in front of me my whole life and I’m just now seeing it? It would be the biggest regret of my life if I didn’t at least give it a shot—a real shot.
It’s weird. I’d never pictured my future children before, but now I am, with messy brown hair and blue-green eyes. Lincoln Carlson has single handedly changed my brain chemistry and I’m trying to not let anything damper that.
“You’re right, you should have been over here riding your boyfriend's dick.” “Boyfriend?” she says, blinking at me. “Yeah, you might not be willing to tell our family yet, but I’m your boyfriend. We're exclusive, even if I am your little secret.” She smiles, getting up from the bed. “I can agree to those terms.”
“When we get back home, this is a real thing. We’ll keep the family out of it, but real dates, a real relationship. I really do want this.”
“Be patient with me.”
“You’re Penelope Abigail Myers, the most gorgeous, selfless, funniest woman I know. You hate mornings, love pets and babies, watch shitty tv shows, and you can’t sing for shit.” My mouth gapes open and he smiles. “You love the sun and it loves you back. You hate overly loud noises and rude people.” He pushes my hair behind my ear. “You’re strong, stronger than anyone gives you credit for, and you’re the best fuck of my life.”
Lincoln might be crass, a total fucking baby when he doesn’t get his way. But he wants me in a way I didn’t think was possible. It’s the type of romance I’ve always read and dreamed about. The thought of this all crashing down is terrifying.
Lincoln presses a small kiss to the top of my head and it’s at that moment I know I’m completely in love with him. I love his sarcasm, his humor, and how thoughtful he is. Not once has he tried to make me into someone I’m not. He’s never told me to stop crying or that my feelings aren’t valid. Even with all this business with our family and how frustrated he’s been, he’s never truly tried to change me, just make me understand.
Lincoln has chosen me repeatedly and all he’s asked for is the same in return. I hope he can sense what I feel, that I’m willing to risk it all for him too.
“You’re the sweetest man I’ve ever met, though most other people wouldn’t know it. You’d give the shirt off your back to anyone who needed it. I’ve never laughed or smiled more around anyone else in my life. You’re too hard on yourself, but it’s what made you so successful. And… you’re the best fuck I’ve ever had in my life,” I say.
“Then forget your morals. Go get the guy you want,” she says.
I think about saying I love you, but fear still holds me back. A piece of my heart has always belonged to Lincoln, but now the whole thing is his. Yet, I still can’t let the words fall off my tongue.
Letting myself love Lincoln might be the biggest risk I’ve ever taken—but I know it’s too late to turn back now.
Lincoln believes in me and suddenly I feel like maybe I can believe in myself.
When I look at Lincoln, I realize that I’ve never actually been in love before. Maybe my heart was always reserved for him and I just didn’t know it.
I’m at the peak of my career. I was okay with life before Penny, but I realize now I was just going through the motions of staying alive. Being with Penny is like seeing colors for the first time, and I can’t hold it back anymore. “I love you,” I whisper into her ear, and she whips around, spilling some of her drink over her knuckles.
“I love you too,” she replies, her eyes locked in with mine before we kiss.
It’s not the chaste kiss from earlier. This is the kiss. My
“I’m all fucking in, Penny. We’re in Vegas, we could do it tonight. You wanted to know that this was real, that I wasn’t going anywhere. Marry me. Our family can learn to deal with it.”
“You’d really want to marry me?”
“I want everything with you. I’m sick of not showing you off, of not being with you in the way I want to be. Be my wife, be my everything.”
“Why do you want me to be your wife?”
“Because I’ve never been this happy. You make life worth living, Penny, and I want to spend the rest of mine with you proudly on my arm, my ring on your finger, our kids running around. I want everything and I want it with you.”
“Is that a yes?”
She pulls back, smiling. “Yes, it’s a yes.”
We sign some more paperwork and it’s official. We’re married. In a matter of minutes and a few signatures we’ve tied ourselves together forever.
I think for the first time in my thirty-six years of life I finally made love to someone, and she just so happens to be my new bride. “No regrets?” “Not a single one,” she whispers, cradling my face in her hands. It might as well be my heart, because she has the power to destroy me like no one else ever has.
“I want to tell them. I don’t
want you to feel like a secret, Lincoln. I’m tired of secrets.”
Her thumbs graze my cheeks, and she searches my eyes. “You’re my husband.”
I grab Penny’s hip as she stands up to her mother for me. The woman who was so scared about the damage our relationship would cause is choosing me, and I’m not sure how to handle it. I’ve never been someone’s first choice before.
My wife is strong and beautiful. Every time I think I couldn’t love her more, she just proves me wrong.
“I don’t want to get it annulled. You’re not listening. We’re married. It’s the happiest I’ve ever been. I’ve felt more like me in these last few months than I have in the last ten years. I don’t expect you all to get on board right away, honestly. I know it will be an adjustment. I love Lincoln. He’s my husband, and I really hope you can learn to accept it.”
“And you’re just okay with this?” my mom asks. “When is the last time you remember Lincoln being happy? When he wasn’t moping around sitting by himself in the backyard. He fucking smiles now. It’s terrifying, but it’s because of Penny,” Gavin says, and I make a note to get him an additional Christmas gift.
I know I’m a part of it, but more than anything, it’s all Penny, she’s finally figured out who she is. I take pride in knowing I was part of that journey, but in the end it was all her.
“I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with you, because you’ve always owned a piece of my heart. But I can tell you the exact moment I knew I wanted to be your wife one day. It was here on vacation, when we were dancing at that dive bar while it poured rain. I knew then that I could spend the rest of my life searching and I’d never find a fraction of what we have.”
