The Best of All Possible Worlds

by Karen Lord

That’s religion, and we’ve got plenty of that already.

Contrary to zero evidence

All I can say is if any Cygnian tells you they’re a direct descendant of Will Shakespeare, don’t be too quick to call them a liar.”

Haven't we said this is folklore? Make up your goddamn mind

so that we looked very much like the other promenading couples.

Victorian England IN SPACE

Would it amuse or vex her

Probably both considering how inconsistent she is

It had been her hard work and brilliance, and Tarik’s too of course, that had uncovered this place from the various legends and folktales

So much forced "conflict"

Of course, this was a scientific expedition, not a diplomatic one.

Oh of course, it's been so clear.

They were both uninjured, but there was no way out.

Zero tension, zero build up, zero fucks given

Be careful. Conserve your resources.

It seems like they've been down there for like an hour, chill out

The revised time to reach Lian and Joral was no longer being given in hours but in days.

That's...far from hopeless. Not ideal, but survivable.

We were dealing with the fact that the mission was over, that the life we had made ours for a year was not the life we would be facing on the morrow.

Again with no sense of time and space, and very little sense of camaraderie, this is not believable

“What you describe as the product of a mental imbalance, I would classify as swift, intuitive thinking to arrive at creative solutions.”

...mental imbalance?

I was under the impression that the restriction did not apply to Sadiri above a certain level of government.”

...I can't imagine she's above that level, but I don't care

On the first day after I spoke to the Sadiri Consul, I went to visit my mother.

ABRUPT SCENE SHIFT

Are you sure she’s interested in you or is it both of them?”

God forbid there be lesbians

it’ll be harder for her to avoid therapy when she’s near all the best institutes.”

No it won't

Oh, it is a he, isn’t it?”

Otherwise how will we have babies?!

“Elephants

What is with the goddamn elephants?

You’re lucky I’ve had no reason to dip into my holiday fund this year.

Aside from losing your fucking job

I didn’t trust my professionalism that far.

WHAT PROFESSIONALISM

government officials are not encouraged to fraternize with colleagues.

HAHAHA

So, you guys looking to get married soon after?”

MUST TALK ABOUT BOYS

The unopened messages from Fergus, I thought.

Cowardly moron

And so, the following day, the eighth day

NOW we get really clear times

There were indeed two figures, tiny in the distance, heartwarmingly familiar and blessedly alive.

CONFLICT ELIMINATED

Providing insightful solutions to unforeseen problems is a talent of hers.”

*SNORT*

Lian firmly redeclared as gender-neutral and

Still not the same as asexual

conducting an elaborate xenofetish experiment

But I thought you were all human *heavy sarcasm*

And at the very least I should have received some prior notification …”

UGH. So much ugh. God forbid she have agency.

It was difficult to be angry at him yet impossible to be pleased about the situation.

No go ahead and be angry. This is fucking stupid

“Are Sadiri suitors too subtle for us, do you think?”

No there's just no chemistry

“His wife?” I wheezed.

94% done, let's introduce a new conflict!

“It was never intended as a permanent solution to solitude, as you are attempting to make it.

ALL MUST MARRY. NO LIFE WITHOUT WIFE.

“Like hunger, or wanting to procreate, or the desire to protect one’s offspring.”

*Sigh*

Reader, I married him.

Insert Nic Cage "no shit" face