The Best of All Possible Worlds

by Karen Lord

It was certainly rustic, right down to the paper playbill and glossy poster tacked up outside the theater.

The sense of aesthetic in this world is bonkers. Living in trees is normal but a paper playbill is VINTAGE

Otello,

...You mean Othello?

I didn’t know whether to be appalled or hugely entertained.

Why bother giving your characters a real reaction when you can just have them be torn and inconsistent all the time? Best of all worlds!

“while it is true that we are Sadiri and therefore not prone to mental distractions, we are more than capable of aesthetic appreciation of the feminine human form.”

UGH THIS BOOK

“I am allowed to look,” he said uncertainly. “I’d confirm that with Nasiha if I were you,” I said skeptically.

Jesus I don't even know where to start with all this...slut shaming the girl for being scantily dressed, very attractive insecurities and jealousies, continued objectification of women as needing to look pretty and pump out kids...

I was this close to wagging a finger and calling them naughty boys, so I made myself back off.

Dear Lord...mature...

I wish I had time to tell you about the whole neo-opera movement and how it relates to the rustica backlash against audio smoothing and augmentation

Please don't. You don't understand how much I don't care. But also that's the part you put attention into? Priorities... Also good job saving yourself from having to create actual new entertainment during all this. It's all old Terran plays performed the traditional way. Stunning world building!

It’s part of how we communicate.

Since when is it a "we"?

“I won’t do it again if it bothers you, okay?”

How would he know if you hadn't told him? Also from the writing you already knew about this difference, oh cultural expert, and just didn't care? Or you didn't know, which seems a weird thing to bring up and also CULTURAL EXPERT.

he put his arm along the back of my seat and rested his palm discreetly against my temple.

Yes that is definitely the most discreet way to do that...instead of just touching hands. You fucking weirdos.

“I can’t stop you from going if you think it’s really necessary,” she said, “but it seems a waste of time to me.”

No more so than the rest of this fucking book

“Nasiha insisted that we get front-row seats. A little more effort is required,”

Must look pretty after all...otherwise how will you get a man?

Dllenahkh and Fergus had only to blend in and chose to do so with the traditional black:

Because women must be seen and be stunning, but men can just fade into the background. We only objectify women.

I felt when she touched her palm briefly to my face and when Dllenahkh did the same.

Again, people touching each other's faces in the front row is not fucking subtle

“The knife!” I yelled. “Don’t use it! It’s real!”

Christ you're such a child

This was a touring production; they were probably too accustomed to shouts of “Look behind you!” whether they were called for or not.

...what? I don't know if that makes sense...

from the tiny stage onstage to confront

Was there NO better way to write that?

Thoroughly fooled, the real audience gasped and applauded in appreciation

So no one heard you screaming your fool head off or reacted to it?

as the fabric was pierced and sliced from belly to shoulder. The point of the knife went mercifully up the space between my breasts and just missed my carotid artery.

This is so fucking dumb. I bet I know what happens

we might have ended up detained for questioning,

Yeah they usually question the person who ran in to save the day. That's how that works.

while I tried to patch the bodice of my dress with strips of gaffer tape.

Does no one have a coat or something? This is so fucking contrived

“Can’t give out the details of the case before trial, ma’am,”

FUCKING DUH

no offense to you, ma’am.”

Those crazy city folk and their non-traditional relationships. I bet they do positions other than missionary, the animals.

Some women are like that about clothes.

Says the woman who was gushing about their dresses earlier and was just fussing over fixing hers

“Oh, I can’t wear this!” I exclaimed.

And then it turns out she's gorgeous and the boys are falling over themselves and WHY DOES THIS HAVE 4/5 STARS

I threw caution, and my bra, to the wind, the former metaphorically, the latter literally.

Just...fuck all of this

I’d had enough.

Of what?! A single comment?! Why didn't you just borrow a coat earlier except that we needed to set up this contrived fucking scene

adorably horrified at discovering her capacity for seductiveness but refusing to retreat nonetheless.

Oh yeah, girls looking uncomfortable in their clothes is so hot

“Naraldi

WHO?!

a vessel capable of air and sea travel.

The fucks the point of that

Publicity surrounding the mission had been very positive,

People love genetic purity

I was once more willing to talk to her about my private life.

Oh look another stray plot point wandering in for the scene

absently multitasking as I ticked items off the inventory on my handheld and yelled an order to the longshoremen. “Sorry, you were saying?

Why is she always multitasking in the most unrealistic ways, I hate you, I hate this

“Oh, it wasn’t for her. It was for you.”

GOTTA HAVE THOSE BABIES FUCK THIS FUCKING BOOK

“Must we discuss my private business out in the open where anyone could hear?

I love how literally everyone is fine with assuming every female will get married and have kids. Because that's how life works. And how our lovely narrator goes from offended to embarrassed and all over the fucking map

It’s a society that relies on external cues to determine a person’s rank and how they should be treated.”

I smell contrived plot devices! They smell like dog poop!

The gulf between servant and master is wide and deep in this place.

Man this place sounds great, I can't wait for there to be awkward misunderstandings and horribly flat world building as an excuse for forced romance

hovercar

So they're remote and isolated but they have hovercars, while other people live in fucking trees.

Let me tell you about the hair.

You don't have to, I'm sure it's incredibly stupid

Zhinuvian-like glow.

Sadiri as possible except for looking like a different race, too. ONE FUCKING SENTENCE

“We find genetic testing useful to determine compatibility.

There are so many questionable themes in this fucking book, including the idea of this whole eugenics program they're running...

telepathic receptors in his palm

Christ just give me midichlorians I'm glad his hand can read minds

from the Heir

Yet another person we haven't actually met

took my caution for flirtation and my curiosity for interest.

*SIGH* HERE WE FUCKING GO AGAIN

set the tip of his small whip under my chin.

Gotta immediately establish him as a fuckface, wouldn't want real conflict

“I gathered from his conversation that in his world women rarely serve any other purpose.”

He fits in perfectly well with the rest of this fucking planet

“Like to get your hands on some genetic samples?”

Good thing the genetics expert apparently doesn't do her own job

served no other purpose but to make her ugly.

TRULY THE GREATEST TRAGEDY TO BEFALL A WOMAN

They did not only

Awkward

within three days. The results were all too clear.

Good thing y'all just hung around that long and no one asked awkward questions and nothing important happened