The Best of All Possible Worlds

by Karen Lord

“I have got to stop laughing at things. They’re turning out to be true too often for comfort.

SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ANNOYING FART

scarcely over a year old.

Pretty sure that timeline doesn't scan but didn't care enough to check

“Then I’m coming with you,” he declared.

CONSISTENCY

You were right, Delarua. There are people depending on us to return, and it was a lapse on my part to persuade myself otherwise.”

Fun game: count how many times we repeat a conversation just so someone can react differently

He must have taken particular care to remove all trace of his presence in my mind, because I cannot remember a single thing that we spoke about.

So wait...You remember all the other stuff, including who he was? This makes zero fucking sense when told in past tense, we literally just learned they'd wipe all memory. CONSISTENCY

Indiana Jones holovid fans, eat your heart out. We did not walk; we ran.

...have you seen Indiana Jones?

(I may also have shrieked “Wheee” at some point. I admit nothing.)

Oh you're just so cute and quirky I just want to punch you right in the eye

When he signed off, I held out my hand accusingly, thinking of my conveniently smashed handheld.

...what? Are you saying he broke it and stole your com? Why?!

you’ll look out for him? Be his guardian? I’ll sign whatever I have to. I just want him to be with family.”

Yeah that sounds like someone who wished you dead. CONSISTENCY

“Perhaps you’re projecting your feelings onto me.”

I really love how casual she is about her own manipulative ability on the heels of her brother-in-law

To have had for however short a time the interest and attention of a man who was strong enough to walk away from me and strong enough to let me walk away from him—it might be too much to say it healed something in me, but it was a start.

UGH

“It seems they learned about your quest to find taSadiri brides for your homesteaders, and they’re impressed with your courage. They’ve

Ah yes, the courage of looking for women to breed...this whole plot makes me gag

Yes, I was going to say it. I was going to start talking about the place I’d been to and the people I’d seen and the things I was supposed to keep secret.

You mean the things that were supposed to be wiped from memory but somehow weren't?

a crew cut was the best out of a bunch of bad options.

...unlikely

Seelie Court

So we have literal fairies now...Cool...

It was the fact that I was able to resurrect enough of my Cymraeg to say this without pause or stammer.

I'm glad Welsh is a thing on this alien planet

obscure Terran myth.

So fairies, which span multiple cultures and hundreds of years of stories, are obscure, but she speaks Welsh, which is already obscure in real life, and Indiana Jones is a cultural touchstone...

Frankly, I find it all a bit silly,

That's one word for this fuckery

ordinary Cygnians dressed in contemporary attire and with only slightly glossy hair, drawn up in a welcoming party around the Queen’s throne.

The hair is the welcoming party?

t’bren

That's a super Welsh name right there...

This made waking up suddenly at midnight even more exciting as I promptly got tangled up in the mesh.

Our hero...

“Yes. They rule the land at night and go underground at dawn. They do not come up to our treetops, and we do not descend to their caves. Thus we preserve some measure of peace.”

So you were two warring factions who adopted fairy culture in order to resolve your differences...by staying two separate factions who don't interact but are now Welsh-speaking space fairies. This is so goddamn dumb

I quickly explained the little I had just learned.

So nobody did enough research to figure this out? Or think to warn the newbies?

“Remember the legend of faerie glamour?

Except they're not actual fucking fairies, you twit. Also stop using fairies and elves interchangeably.

I’d long ago figured out that for a man like Fergus, a man who shunned unnecessary talk, I was a walking nightmare.

I'M TEAM FERGUS

Maybe he feared I was going to get all confiding or burst into tears.

Not unfair guesses given what an inconsistent mess you are

I was now suspicious that the Queen’s overwhelming presence was glamour-assisted.

"It had not occurred to me despite multiple unpleasant psychic experiences on this trip that maybe the psychic humans were being, you know, FUCKING PSYCHIC."

As I translated, I absently probed at my emotions but found nothing amiss.

I'm glad she's so fluent in all languages, including goddamn Welsh, that she can not bother giving it her full attention. I wonder what the Welsh for spaceship is?

Perhaps this matriarchal society required that I have at least one pet male of my own to qualify for special treatment, or perhaps I was still too useful as a translator.

Thing 1: Good thing everyone on this planet is straight, huh? Thing 2: aww, poor narrator doesn't get showered with affection from hot dudes while she's on a fucking government assignment. Professionalism!

it seemed that the most attractive attendants had been reserved for the Queen’s dais, so during lulls in conversation I amused myself by ranking them.

*SIGH*

My eyes widened, and I elbowed a startled Dllenahkh in the ribs. “Quick! Ask her about the Unseelie Court!” I hissed.

Fucking subtle

It is one of my best tales, handed down from my grandmother.”

Jesus I hope we don't have to hear the rest of your tales if that's your best...

Suddenly, their devotion and her goddesslike air no longer seemed unwarranted.

...isn't it?

“I’ve never seen a woman with a harem who so obviously deserved it.

The sexual politics in this book are just...*sigh*

I frowned to myself, not quite knowing why.

You're the goddamn first person narrator, how do you not know your own emotions

she said randomly one day.

TIME HAS NO MEANING IN THIS BOOK

“Any progress with that translator?” I asked Tarik moodily

...were we making one? Because you seen to be completely fluent in every language ever spoken with all the nuances required

The business of the Elven–Sadiri exchange had long been concluded,

It's only the entire fucking plot so let's go ahead and glaze over it with a sentence

Sadiri.

Three uses of Sadiri in one sentence

what recommendations you might make concerning them to the Sadiri settlement.”

You translated the decided settlement on the last fucking page

He is of the opinion that my apparent ‘slow progress’ with you is an indication that I need help.”

There's just been so much overwhelming chemistry between them. By which I mean none whatsoever

be fitting if one or both of the single Sadiri on the team were to find wives by the end of the year as a sort of symbol of success for the broader undertaking.”

This fucking plot...

“I think it is an excellent idea,” Joral said. “You could register too.”

Can't leave those females unmarried! What would they do with their lives?

“I want a wife, and children, and a family of my blood. I want sons and daughters who will look like my brothers and sisters who are gone, who will speak Sadiri and learn of Sadira and practice the mental disciplines.

Keep the bloodlines pure! Again: this. Fucking. Plot.

“We desire these things too. These are good things to desire, right and appropriate things. We shall see these things come to pass for you and for others. Your line will not die out.”

UUUUUGH I HATE THESE FUCKING PEOPLE

“Lian, you’re not going to help out Joral any time soon, are you?” I murmured.

I fucking called it. "You're a person who can bear children, better get on that!" Wouldn't want there to be any non-heteronormative people or relationships to complicate things.

“I believe young parents will become a new Sadiri tradition.

Gotta start pumping out babies after all

These are rational concerns, but your inability to deal with them properly is turning them into irrational fears.”

What woman doesn't want to get married and start popping out kids? Must be broken.

midsize town that straddled a few key trade routes.

How are there trade routes when there's fucking shuttles

drily.

Not how you spell that