This Is How You Lose Her
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1%
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For Marilyn Ducksworth and Mih-Ho Cha in honor of your friendship, your fierceness, your grace
Andrew David
good dedication
2%
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Love was good. I loved your crooked sleep beside me
Andrew David
me!
2%
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with this chick who had tons of eighties freestyle hair.
14%
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And that’s when I know it’s over. As soon as you start thinking about the beginning, it’s the end.
Andrew David
there is something about beginnings bringing ends
24%
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Baby, you say, baby, this is part of my novel. This is how you lose her.
Andrew David
really int narrative decisions here. returning to junior. changing to second person. setting it back in time. the novel line. and then eponymn!
25%
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His hands have tasted of crackers and bread the whole three years we’ve been together.
Andrew David
away from his wife for three plus yrs...
28%
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Please, please, mi querido husband, tell me what it is. How long did it take before your wife stopped mattering? After reading her letters I always feel better. I don’t think this says good things about me.
Andrew David
i think thats true! :)
29%
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They’re cold,
Andrew David
Cold. That's the word for life in the U.S. In this story
29%
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But at least he didn’t try to rape you like many of the other bosses. At least there was that. He kept his eyes and his hands mostly to himself.
Andrew David
mostly?!
35%
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Also true. The next day I give her eight hundred. It is half my savings. Remember this.
Andrew David
holy c
36%
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They shuffle in and out, barely look at me, exhausted by the promises they’ve made. I want to advise them: no promises can survive that sea.
42%
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(I didn’t lift a fucking finger in our apartment, male privilege, baby.)
42%
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Had her prayer group over to our apartment two, three times a day.
Andrew David
no way.
43%
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looked like a break-dancing ghoul
43%
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this Parkwood girl who had the hugest donkey on the planet,
Andrew David
eh? urban d says booty
46%
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You could tell he was going to pull something stupid. The good thing was he didn’t try to go back to the Barn. The bad thing was that he went and basically got married.
47%
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Pura was her name. Pura Adames. Pura Mierda was what Mami called her.
Andrew David
!
56%
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Later, when Mami went to bed, he looked at me evenly: Didn’t I tell you I was going to fix you? Didn’t I? And then he laughed.
Andrew David
uh ok.
57%
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We’ll just be out for a little while, I said. I got up and pulled on my boots. Had I known my father even a little I might not have turned my back on him.
57%
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On the TV the newscasters were making small, flat noises at each other. They were repeating one word over and over. Later when I went to school I would learn that the word they were saying was Vietnam.
57%
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Pretty early on Mami decided that watching TV was beneficial; you could learn the language from it. She saw our young minds as bright, spiky sunflowers in need of light, and arranged us as close to the TV as possible to maximize our exposure.
Andrew David
so different than now!
58%
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A father is a hard thing to compass.
Andrew David
int word choice
60%
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It’s better to shave it all off, Papi said. I have some other things that might work. Papi looked at his watch. Shave it.
Andrew David
fitting to read this after a bestessaysof2013 essay that was about a teen with strokes who lost her hair
61%
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If we messed that up, joking around or cheating, he would force us to kneel down on the cutting side of a coconut grater, and only when we were bleeding and whimpering would he let us up. Now you’ll be quiet, he’d say, satisfied, and we’d lay in bed, our knees burning with iodine, and wait for him to go to work so we could put our hands against the cold glass.
Andrew David
some dads need parenting lessons
61%
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I looked like an unhappy tropical elf.
Andrew David
ha
69%
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You’d fuck anything, someone jeered. And he had given that someone the eye. You make that sound like it’s a bad thing.
Andrew David
it sounds like the entourage guys
71%
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Maybe she just doesn’t like children. Nobody likes children, your mother assured you. That doesn’t mean you don’t have them.
71%
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How is your mother? And you never knew what to say. Your tongue was always swollen, raw, from being blown to atoms in your sleep.
80%
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Both of you are smiling. Both of you blinked.
Andrew David
hm int
your head down. The next day you look at the new pages. For once you don’t want to burn them or give up writing forever. It’s a start, you say to the room. That’s about it. In the months that follow you bend to the work, because it feels like hope, like grace—and because you know in your lying cheater’s heart that sometimes a start is all we ever get.
Andrew David
i actually saw this previously in the new yorker but it's really kind of crazy and meta; maybe s the conclusion to this novel slash short story collection.