Whispered Prayers

by Alex Grayson

“Please, God, just let my daddy come home,” Kelsey’s tearful voice whispers. “And please tell him I’m sorry. I miss him so much. I just want to hug him again and tell him I love him.” Her voice is lower when she finishes. “In Jesus’ name, amen.”

It takes me a long time to drift off to sleep, and when I finally manage to, it’s a restless sleep filled with the whispered prayers of a broken girl.

“Umm… do you have any clothes I could borrow?” I ask. Even though he can’t see me, I squeeze my eyes closed in humiliation. “I… uh… sort of knocked mine in the toilet when I was trying to catch myself.” I inwardly groan. I feel so stupid right now. “And my other set are still in the dryer.” My eyes narrow when I hear a rusty chuckle on the other side of the door. “It’s not funny,” I mutter.

I stand there for a good ten minutes after they’ve left, feeling like I’ve just lost something precious and important.

“What is it about you that makes me want to be close to you?” he marvels in a low voice. His thumb rubs gently against my neck. “Why do I want to touch you so badly when I haven’t wanted to touch anyone in years?”

We’ll never forget the ones we love, they’ll be with us always, but we need to learn to live without them, to not let the pain of their loss rule our lives. Alexander hasn’t been grieving, he’s been living in his pain all these years. He’s not learning to move on, he’s staying in place and immersing himself in guilt.

Love isn’t a strong enough word for what I feel for Gwen. It doesn’t even come close. What I feel for her is soul-deep and everlasting, a feeling that scares the ever-lovin’ hell out of me, but something I can’t deny any longer and will hold on to forever.