Ready or Not

by Cara Bastone

“Sometimes our bodies take charge of us. My mom’s body just knew that she didn’t need to be prioritizing Carol in the last few months of her life. It helped her let go of that crappy relationship. And for you…your brain wanted to keep talking to Ethan tonight, to get everything hammered into place, but your body knew that it wasn’t the time. You got tired and had to leave. Maybe that’s your body taking care of you.”

Is this because I’m pregnant? Or is this because I’m pregnant?

Everything that seemed novel and thrilling when it was on the screen in the exam room now seems all too real when it’s printed on paper. These photos feel almost like a legal document. Each photo is a hidden clause in a contract I signed months ago while half drunk and seconds away from orgasm. What a terrible time to make a life choice.

A secret is only a secret if no one knows about it. What’s a secret that everyone knows but no one talks about? It’s shame.

This is the kind of text that feels so ecstatically good for about ten minutes. And then you spend the next year trying to undo it.

“That’s what it means to be other-centered? To see the web? To treat everyone like they’re somebody’s favorite person on earth?”