Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself

by Crystal Hefner

Playing the role of someone else’s image of you every day and every night is exhausting—physically, mentally, and in a way that feels like your soul is actually tired, like some kind of life energy battery is running low.

Power is insidious when it masks itself as generosity. And generosity is insidious when it’s a camouflage for control. And both power and generosity are confusing when they gaslight you into believing they could be love.

He was like this invincible umbrella I was under. If anything happened, I was protected under this powerful thing. Now, I am my own umbrella. And that’s harder, because life can be hard, but it’s so much better.

So, yes, I used to only say good things, but now, I say whatever I want.