That Time I Got Drunk and Yeeted a Love Potion at a Werewolf (Mead Mishaps, #2)

by Kimberly Lemming

Absently, I tucked my titties back into my breast band after their daring escape in the night,

The frilly green garment was strained over the monster wolf’s torso, making the smiley face I had sewn on stretch into a worried thin grimace.

“It’s a lot less painful than what your woman would go through if you put her through childbirth. You can’t expect her to go through worse pain if you yourself can’t even offer her this.”

“If you need me, don’t,” he called down.

“… Pies?” I asked. Of all the things I thought a dragon would ask for, sweets weren’t one of them. “You eat pies?” “No, I shove them up my ass,” he growled. “Yes, I eat them. There’s a shop on Main Street called Sonia’s Sweet Treats. I want three of her lemon meringue pies.”

“Oh, now this is a real treat, Barbara! On our right, you’ll see the shapely ass of some muscular heartthrob as he absolutely goes to town on the woman beneath him. Just look at that form. It’s a wonder and a marvel that her intestines haven’t been crushed into oblivion, what with that massive horse cock Blondy’s slinging,” said the disembodied voice.

“Oh my god, chip my steel, you’re so annoying,” Alexis snapped. “Maybe if you fixed your attitude and took a bath once in a while, women would talk to you. You smell like old cheese and a mother’s regret.”