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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Reid Hoffman
100 million of them are on LinkedIn, with more than two new members joining every second.
Now, you can search this network to find the connections and friends of connections who can introduce you to that all-star doctor with the fewest number of handoffs.
when it comes to meeting people who can help you professionally, three degrees of separation is what matters.
If one additional degree of separation is added, a person in the middle of the chain will know neither You nor Sarah, and thus have no stake in making sure the introduction goes smoothly.
how do you actually reach that second- or third-degree connection?*
via an introduction from someone you know who in turn knows the person you want to reach.
Anytime you want to meet a new person in your extended network, ask for an introduction.
But you do have to ask—directly and specifically—and you need to present a compelling reason why the introduction makes sense.
When you reach out to someone, be clear about how you intend to help the person to whom you’re being introduced—or
you spend thirty minutes researching a person in your extended network (LinkedIn is a great place to start), and tailor your request for an introduction to something you’ve learned, your request will stand out.
If you are not receiving or making at least one introduction a month, you are probably not fully engaging your extended professional network.
The best professional network is both narrow/deep (strong connections) and wide/shallow (bridge ties).
Your stronger connections are more likely to happily introduce you to new people—to your second- and third-degree connections.
Which is why you should relish opportunities to build trust connections with folks in different fields or social circles.
What matters are your alliances, the strength and diversity of your trust connections, the freshness of the information flowing through your network, the breadth of your weak ties, and the ease with which you can reach your second- or third-degree connections.
Relationships are living, breathing things. Feed, nurture, and care about them: they grow. Neglect them: they die.
The best way to strengthen a relationship is to jump-start the long-term process of give-and-take. Do something for another person. Help him or her.
He noticed that Square didn’t have a video demo on their website showing how the device worked. So he put together a hi-def video showing off the device and then showed the video to Jack just as an fyi.
Kevin found a way to add value. He didn’t ask for anything in return—he just made the video and showed it to Jack.
Helping someone out means acknowledging that you are capable of helping.
figure out what kind of help is helpful.
a better response would have probed: “Tell me more about your skills, interests, and background.”
To give helpful help you need to have a sense of your friend’s values and priorities so that your offer of help can be relevant and specific.
First you must know the person.
When deciding what kind of gift to give, think about your unique experiences and skills. What might you have that the other person does not?
The secret behind stellar small gifts is that it’s something you can uniquely provide.
if the best way to strengthen a relationship is to help the other person,
second best way is to let yoursel...
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A good way to help people is to introduce them to people and experiences they wouldn’t otherwise be able to access.
all it takes to stay in touch with the people you know is a desire to do so and a modest amount of organization and proactiveness.
You’re probably not nagging.
Keep following up politely if you don’t get an answer—and try to mix up the message, the gift, the approach.
Until you hear “No,” you haven’t been turned down.
Try to add...
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something more than a generic greeting or p...
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If you’re worried about seeming too personal, couch your staying-in-touch as a mass action.
Once you’ve eased back into personal contact, then personalize your message.
One lunch is worth dozens of emails.
Social media.
Reactivating once strong relationships from school or a previous employer or previous geography is a real pleasure, and it’s one of the easiest ways to build “new” meaningful connections.
he set aside time and money in advance to keep his network up-to-date.
he declared that seven thousand dollars of his savings would be “California money.”
pre-committing yourself to do something makes sure it actually happens.
In addition to maintaining existing relationships, Paul also used the money to meet new people. He referred to his savings allotment as the “interesting people fund”—money
If you want to maintain relationships with busy, powerful people, you have to pay special attention to the role of status.
A person’s status depends on the circumstances and on who’s around.
He failed to navigate the status dynamics around him; failed to account for the insecurities, status anxieties, and egos of everyone else.
He failed to build relationships with the people above him and below him
If you want to build a relationship with someone of higher status, know that you are supposed to be accommodating.
think about how the power imbalance affects your expected social behavior.
