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forbid a guy be allowed to sleep off a major bender without some dickhead blasting their bass to eleven. At least, I think it was a major bender. I know I’m asleep, but the room is still spinning. Yeah, I’ve gotta be drunk off my ass. The funny thing is,
party last night. It is morning, right? I can’t see anything. Well, duh, my eyes are closed. Okay, so my eyes aren’t opening. I guess I must be pretty trashed. Thud, thud!
in homey’s upper middle class ass. Thud, thud! ARGH! It’s really starting to piss me off now. Huh? What the hell was that? Holy shit, are those voices? Maybe I'm not at home after all. If that's the case, I must still be at a party. Oh, crap. I hate passing out at someone else's place. I really
asshole about it, too. He kept pretending to be helpful just to get a laugh. “You want me to go to the store for you, dickface?” “I’ll get it. Hello? Oh, Bill? Sorry, he can’t come to the phone right now. He's too busy trying to wipe cock off his face. Can you call back later?” One of these days, I’ve really gotta get my own apartment. Thud, thud. Okay, it's getting a little lower now. The song must be ending. I still can’t make out what the voices are saying, but at least it doesn’t
second – didn't that happen last week? Thud, thud. Why does that sound so familiar? I don’t usually listen to any shit rap music, but damn if that doesn’t ring a bell. It’s right on the tip of my tongue... UGH! Speaking of my tongue, what the hell is that taste in my mouth? Oh, shit. Please don’t let that be puke. There’s nothing worse than puking at a party and waking up in it. Nobody ever gets laid after that. Well, okay, puke or not, it’s been a while since I scored, but it could still happen ... maybe. Although not if I’m lying in a swimming pool of my own spew. Crap! I hope someone turned
...more
artistic merits of penises on my face. Maybe that’s why I can’t wake up. I popped a blood vessel in my brain and am spiraling into a coma. Still, I don’t think I’d be quite
Great rt
That would probably be a wee bit on the painful side. C’mon concentrate. Let's see ... I can still taste that crap in my mouth,
Fvgv*v
