The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living

by Dalai Lama XIV

If we begin with the simple act of regularly helping others, for instance, even if we don’t feel particularly kind or caring, we may discover an inner transformation taking place, as we very gradually develop genuine feelings of compassion.

There is no getting around these essential ingredients: determination, effort, and time. These are the real secrets to happiness.

‘We cannot overcome anger and hatred simply by suppressing them. We need to actively cultivate the antidotes to hatred: patience and tolerance.

even in spite of living in a very tense environment, which is very frantic and stressful, so long as the person has tolerance and patience, the person’s calmness and peace of mind will not be disturbed.

If the situation or problem is such that it can be remedied, then there is no need to worry about it.

Alternatively, if there is no way out, no solution, no possibility of resolution, then there is also no point in being worried about it, because you can’t do anything about it anyway.

of course I can’t help everybody. But I think the main thing is motivation. To have a sincere motivation to help. Then you just do the best you can, and you don’t have to worry about it.

With a sincere motivation, one of compassion, even if I made a mistake or failed, there is no cause for regret. For my part I did my best. Then, you see, if I failed, it was because the situation was beyond my best efforts.

If you develop a pure and sincere motivation, if you are motivated by a wish to help on the basis of kindness, compassion, and respect, then you can carry on any kind of work, in any field, and function more effectively with less fear or worry, not being afraid of what others think or whether you will be ultimately successful in reaching your goal.

the Dalai Lama’s primary interest in human motivation lies in reshaping and changing one’s underlying motivation to one of compassion and kindness.

the closer one gets to being motivated by altruism, the more fearless one becomes in the face of even extremely anxiety-provoking circumstances

Those who suffer from an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and accomplishments are continuously subject to frustration, disappointment, and rage when reality intrudes and the world doesn’t validate their idealized view of themselves. And they are always precariously close to sinking into depression when they fail to live up to their own idealized self-image. In addition, these individuals’ grandiosity often leads to a sense of entitlement and a kind of arrogance that distances them from others and prevents emotionally satisfying relationships. Finally,

‘The more honest you are, the more open, the less fear you will have because there’s no anxiety about being exposed or revealed to others. So, I think that the more honest you are, the more self-confident you will be

‘I think that generally, being honest with oneself and others about what you are or are not capable of doing can counteract that feeling of lack of self-confidence

one definition of love, and perhaps the most pure and exalted kind of love, is an utter, absolute, and unqualified wish for the happiness of another individual. It is a heartfelt wish for the other’s happiness regardless of whether he does something to injure us or even whether we like him.

all beings, including oneself, have Buddha Nature – the seed or potential for perfection, full enlightenment – no matter how weak or poor or deprived one’s present situation may be.

It involves an inner discipline, a gradual process of rooting out destructive mental states and replacing them with positive, constructive states of mind, such as kindness, tolerance, and forgiveness.

it is essential to appreciate our potential as human beings and recognize the importance of inner transformation.

The Dalai Lama has repeatedly emphasized that inner discipline is the basis of a spiritual life. It is the fundamental method of achieving happiness.