I'm With the Band: Confessions of a Groupie

by Pamela Des Barres

I didn’t relent and at first he was pissed off, but he returned, saying, “You’re really too good, aren’t you? What do you think Jimmy is doing right this minute? You’re a GTO, remember? Not some school girl from Oklahoma.

Edgewater Inn,

the Kinks,

Why can’t I meet a nice engineer or CPA? It’s too late now.

Because you’re not trying to find them girl

I really thought that people would be united and brought together in a lovely way . . . but NO body cared about each other.

Altamont

Jimmy called and asked me to find him some Aleister Crowley paraphernalia that might have wound up in some old Hollywood bookstore, and I took this as a sign of love. The reality was, of course, that he knew I would go dig up this horrible stuff and send it straight to England. I didn’t know it, but he was in the process of buying Mr. Crowley’s estate in Scotland. He also got a hold of his cloak somehow, and I could picture his white skin draped in grandiose darkness and I worried that he might be getting obsessed with the black vibe.

Waylon Jennings

my next conquest,

Are they conquests if they’re sending you into fits of despair

If Waylon “comes” (ha) tonight (I still have my serious doubts), it will be my first one night stand, and my first “older man.”

It certainly was one of the oddest nights in my life. Waylon Jennings in my bed. We were honestly crude and crudely honest with each other, and learned a lot from each others’ worlds.

My roommate, Michele, heard all the noise coming from the dining room, and had to climb out her bedroom window to go to work. When she came home that evening, she suggested I find another place to live.

He came over for ten hours, we necked and stared and cooed and goo-gooed,

Wtf

some guy grabbed me on the street so Brandon yelled out, “Fuck off, you wetneck pachuko,” and the guy pulled a gun on us! I ran down the street, trying to stop cars while deWilde tried to talk them out of shooting us. He’s a real sweet talker. All very interesting. Tra La.

Wtf

what a split personality,

it was becoming what Sparky and Lucy had predicted, a business venture. Christine and Cynderella thought I was a phony-baloney fickle sweetie-pie, Sandra was Miss Mom, and Mercy had started inhaling angel dust in startling amounts.

How can I be fickle when there is no one to be true to?

He grabbed hold of little me, the concubine elite, and kissed my ass until I was convinced I could love him.

she was always sorry to be alive, so I rarely saw her.

the Hellfire Club,

He typified the pissed-off young man, and I wandered around the flat in circles, bemoaning being in love with an angry young New York Jew who was caught up in his angry young penis.

He said he didn’t feel like a man when he couldn’t pick up chicks.

despite the fact that I was going with Marty, a seemingly regular guy, I was truly the ultimate groupie, and Mick was in the ultimate group.

called our manager, Herbie Cohen, and pleaded for some dough to see the world.

People of the world; they all do the same things, only in different ways.

We bought seven pair of shoes in Milan, spending lots of lire, and carried them around in ill-gotten pillowcases.

Who’s money? How?

We checked out the churches, but I was disheartened by the ragtag beggars, mournful and bleating outside the ornate golden doors.

I was flat out of dough, so Renee and I went to a sleazy club called the Milkweg and sold a ton of it to the locals.

I don’t get how people live like this

No one can say I didn’t revel in my bad fortune.

His eyes got damp just looking at me, which is just what I needed after the callous treatment I had received from the sex king of Kings Road.

Couldn’t I ever just hit the hay without getting involved? Nooooooooo!

Ringo Starr.

I had a nice talk with Ringo today, he’s such a pleasant person; unaffected, believe it or not. He told me that Paul is suing the other three Beatles, and kicked Ringo out of his house last week. How horrid, another bubble burst.

Keith Moon,

Now that I was HIS, he became insanely jealous and thought my flirting was something to get all wigged out about.

Insecurity tends to be worse with youth

Peter Fonda,

He placed the little bzz-bzz on different parts of my body, getting lower and lower, asking me to imitate the deep buzzing noise. “The lower I go, the lower you go.”

This one is almost funny

After Tony and I wore each other out in the sack, we argued.

The bum threw me into the gutter, leaving me with a bald patch the size of a silver dollar.

I’m going to rely more on myself and God;

No idea what she thinks this means at this point

use all my spare time to improve myself, instead of pouring it into another person.

Gail Zappa

Moon was four and Dwee was two when I started nannying, and the love I felt for them was different from any other kind. I didn’t want a single thing from those munchkins, and it was a refreshing relief.

I told Gail I had dibs on him when he reached pubescence.

SO WEIRD

when he told me he had met somebody on the road who was coming to L.A. to stay with him, I didn’t agonize or mourn. I knew our feelings for each other were real-to-real.

Alice Cooper

Dr. Kildare

Chuck Wein,

his brain was whirling with knowledge about the soul, the universe, space brothers, and vegetables.

I threw the I Ching and studied the tarot deck, looking for the answers I knew they possessed.

how I wanted to grok it all.