The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You're Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

by Brené Brown

One of the greatest barriers to connection is the cultural importance we place on “going it alone.”

Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.

If connection is the energy that surges between people, we have to remember that those surges must travel in both directions.

Worthy now. Not if. Not when. We are worthy of love and belonging now. Right this minute. As is.

This is why shame loves perfectionists—it’s so easy to keep us quiet.

The first thing we need to understand about shame resilience is that the less we talk about shame, the more we have it.

If we can find someone who has earned the right to hear our story, we need to tell it. Shame loses power when it is spoken.

Our stories are not meant for everyone. Hearing them is a privilege, and we should always ask ourselves this before we share: “Who has earned the right to hear my story?”

Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day.

authenticity and they don’t like me, I might feel disappointment, frustration, or even grief, but I’m okay. If the goal is being liked and they don’t like me, I’m in trouble.

Without exception, spirituality—the belief in connection, a power greater than self, and interconnections grounded in love and compassion—emerged as a component of resilience.

The new cultural belief that everything should be fun, fast, and easy is inconsistent with hopeful thinking. It also sets us up for hopelessness.

Most of us engage in behaviors (consciously or not) that help us to numb and take the edge off vulnerability, pain, and discomfort.

there’s no such thing as selective emotional numbing.

It’s called the vowel check: AEIOUY.

For years I thought it was the other way around: I’ll do whatever it takes to fit in, I’ll feel accepted, and that will make me like myself better.

So, what does a gratitude practice look like? The folks I interviewed talked about keeping gratitude journals, doing daily gratitude meditations or prayers, creating gratitude art, and even stopping during their stressful, busy days to actually say these words out loud: “I am grateful for…”

Sadly, my memories of creating end around age eight or nine. In fact, I don’t have a single creativity memory after about fifth grade.

There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t.