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“Something frightening happened to you tonight. Of course you want to feel safe and cared for. It’s not a crime, Julianne. And I want to help you, my love, so badly. But there are many different ways to do that. You don’t have to take your clothes off in order to capture my attention. You have it. Completely. You don’t have to have sex with me in order for me to make you feel wanted.”
She reached up and kissed him softly on the lips and whispered words of thanks to his mouth. His affirmation comforted her. It didn’t take the pain away or erase the memories, but it relieved her to hear that he wouldn’t hold her past weaknesses against her. For truly, one of the things she was most ashamed of was allowing herself to be treated so badly. It was why she had kept her secret. It was why she had feared exposure.
“I didn’t want to admit that I had been so stupid as to get myself into that situation. That I gave in to him for so long. That I was blind to the fact that they were together. I wanted to pretend that it happened to someone else.” She looked up into Gabriel’s face, which was remarkably sympathetic. “Please don’t say that you are stupid ever again. Shame on them both for how they treated you. They’re the villains in this story, not you.”
Scars might heal and we might forget about them in time, but they’re permanent. Not even Jesus lost his scars.”
He cupped her face in both hands. “Julianne, your mere presence comforts me. But I was exhausted, and I’d been drinking…a recipe for disaster.” He shook his head and looked ashamed. “I didn’t want our first time together to have so much baggage, with all the ghosts of my past swirling in the air. I want us to go to a place that is ours alone and make some new memories. Some happy ones.”
He was resolved to build her confidence incrementally, to help her see herself as he saw her—sexy, attractive, and passionate. The only way he could do this would be to take his time and be patient and affirming. He was looking forward to demonstrating his love for her and subjecting all of his erotic arts to her service. She would never demand such things, such attention, which made the thought of giving everything to her so much more satisfying.
